Vat ees Sandveetch?

August 16th, 2008 · 75 Comments · TF2 News

At some point yesterday the details of the Heavy Achievements appeared on the update page.

My personal favorites:

Show Trial: Kill an enemy with a taunt.

I know a lot of people will grind most of the achievements (I know I probably will), but I’d encourage everyone to try to get the taunt kill in a legitimate game. Getting the pyro taunt in a real game was tough, and a lot of fun, and not just for me.

Own the Means of Production: Remove 20 stickybombs by killing the Demomen who produced them.

The icon shows a stickybomb being split by a lightning bolt, so we thought maybe the Heavy’s new gun would have sticky-busting properties, but now it doesn’t appear that way: you just have to ice the demoman and make his bombs vanish. Can do.

Rasputin: In a single life, get shot, burned, bludgeoned, and receive explosive damage.

This is just plain genius. If only an enemy medic could poison a sandwich, they’d have all the bases covered.

Spyalectical Materialism: Kill or assist in killing 10 cloaked spies.

Again, this led to some speculation of a new Heavy weapon that would have spy-revealing properties, but it looks like we’ll have to do with plain old bullets. Not a problem.

Heavy Industry: Fire $200,000 worth of minigun rounds in a single life.

Don’t worry, it won’t take long. More info here.

Konspicuous Konsumption: Eat 100 sandviches.

Yes, there are apparently actual sandwiches. And they can apparently be eaten. But what is the sandwich, exactly?

Is it a medkit he can carry with him and munch on when he’s running around without a medic? That would certainly make him more viable when he’s on his own, though self-healing does tread on the medic’s toes a bit, which is one of the things Valve was hoping to avoid.

How would he carry the sandwich with him? Would it be the alt to his shotgun? Or is he still getting a new shotgun, and this will be an all-new standalone item?

If it is something he carries with him, will he just get one per life?

Can he move while he’s eating it? Can he swim within a half-hour of eating it?

Maybe the sandwich will just replace those floating medkits scattered around the map, and he won’t be carrying it along with him?

Will it simply boost his health, or will it somehow make him stronger? Faster, maybe? Perhaps make him grow a mullet to protect him from headshots?

These questions, and the details of the mysterious new game mode will be revealed on Monday and Tuesday right here. And shortly thereafter, here.

Tags: stand by leetle sandveetch cart

75 responses so far ↓

1 Mr. Brit // Aug 16, 2008 at 9:30 am

1st!
2 Mr. Brit // Aug 16, 2008 at 9:32 am

Also, I like the idea of a swimming restriction after eating. If he swims for too long, he cramps and can’t move leading to drowning.
3 Plaz // Aug 16, 2008 at 9:38 am

I bet sandwiches give a temporary boost to an attribute.
4 Pentadact // Aug 16, 2008 at 9:44 am

It’s almost certainly a shotgun replacement, almost certainly a one-use item probably not replenishable by ammo crates but perhaps by supply closets, and almost certainly restores one-hundred health over the course of probbably about a second, almost certainly without requiring you to stand still, but possibly slowing you to firing speed.

I know a lot of Steam forum losers refuse to believe it could be shotgun replacement, but it makes perfect sense to me. The shotgun is barely used, whereas this would be an important part of your toolset that you’d probably use every life. With the KGB gloves, the Heavy would finally be a class that actually has to think about his choice of weapon. Or sandvich.
5 Pentadact // Aug 16, 2008 at 9:44 am

Oh, for a comment edit function.
6 Pentadact // Aug 16, 2008 at 9:50 am

I hope that, if you’re hit during eating, the sandvich is lost and the Heavy cries “OH NO!” in his inimitable way.
7 Turyx // Aug 16, 2008 at 9:52 am

Or it could be the Alt Fire to the Shotgun.

About the Taunt Kill. I would love if the Heavy Taunt instead of just killing you, would make you explode
8 Da Gamer // Aug 16, 2008 at 9:57 am

If i did the math correctly, you should get the Heavy Industry achievement for firing for 6 seconds.
9 Ev // Aug 16, 2008 at 10:02 am

A+ on your report card, sirrah.
10 Nonomu198 // Aug 16, 2008 at 10:19 am

What, Chris, you don’t like Don’t Touch Sandvich? You get revenge the old sandwich case using your new baby. It brings the old and the new to make scout killing harmony. How wonderful!
11 Wowbagger // Aug 16, 2008 at 10:30 am

My greatest hope in life is now that Pentadact is right about the “OH, NO!!” thing.
12 Christopher // Aug 16, 2008 at 10:32 am

I wonder if it replenishes your health but only temporarily, like a buff. So it fills up 100 health but that immediately starts to drop off until you get a real heal or get back down to your original wounded amount. That would still help the heavy but keep the importance of the medic intact.
13 Pixelburp // Aug 16, 2008 at 10:42 am

I don’t think that the shotgun replacement will be anything too dramatic because as it is, the shotgun is rarely used by Heavies, except in bullets-running-out circumstances. So I am sceptical that the upgrade will revolve around little healing triangles of bread - it’ll be too much of an out & out buff to the Heavy while lessening the important medic/heavy relationship (Phwoar!).
At the same time though, it wouldn’t alter the Heavy’s role too much as they would still be vulnderable to snipers and demos.
14 JinRoh // Aug 16, 2008 at 10:50 am

Just a quick note. Maybe I was lucky, but just after the Pyro achievements arrived. In my first 5 minutes I killed 3 people with the Hadouken (taunt kill, first 2 in a row and then another one). It wasn’t that hard :P

Actually I love standing in front of an enemy spawn, doing the taunt and waiting for someone to appear :D (I killed many people this way)
15 Christopher // Aug 16, 2008 at 10:57 am

I hope it’s not a shotgun replacement, because as a Heavy I use the shottie fairly often, and not just when I’ve run out of ammo. Anytime I have to run a considerable distance (Gold Rush on offense, for instance), I’ve got the shotgun ready in case anyone pops out.
16 Dzamir // Aug 16, 2008 at 10:58 am

I think that the sanwich will replace the shotgun:you eat the shotgun in 2 seconds, in an animation like the taunt, and after that you restore something like 200-300 hp… but after you eated the sandwich you don’t have nothing in weapon slot 2.
17 Turyx // Aug 16, 2008 at 11:07 am

Of course the Heavy is a tough guy, but being able to eat a shotgun in 2 seconds is too much :D
18 Also named Christopher // Aug 16, 2008 at 11:18 am

I think sasha got dumbed down before being put ingame. In the video he says “5000 rounds per minute” which is about 83 rounds per second, which is waaaaaaay more than the heavy fires now.

He said they were $200 custom tooled cartridges, so he’ll have to fire 1000 rounds in one life. Sounds more achievement worthy, don’t you think?
19 a westie // Aug 16, 2008 at 11:37 am

Feel I should repeat it, even though I said it on another comments page. TF2 Wiki has found that Sasha shoots about 6 bullets per second (360 rounds per minute), way less than in the video. I did the math in the last post’s comments. Anyway, the upshot is that it takes a total of 5 minutes and 34 seconds to shoot that many bullets. As for why his gun is so slow, maybe the jerk who touched Sasha broke her, so now she fires a lot slower. To be fair, the heavy gets 50 about damage per bullet (At point blank, it falls off from a distance). 300 damage per second is fine by me. If the heavy had his old speed, 83 rounds per second * 50 damage is 4150 damage per second. In fact, against an all-heavy team on a 24 player server, he’d knock down 86% of the team at point blank. And that’s terrible.

Check my name’s link for the source figures. I got rounds per second by dividing the total damage of 1 second by individual bullet damage.

Of course, this all counts on bullets still costing $200 a piece. I imagine they’re made in Russia, so they might cost more now thanks to the falling dollar. It’d be so much easier if they kept it all in Rubles. The video coming with the update will be “Meet the Accountant.”
20 a westie // Aug 16, 2008 at 11:39 am

Er, my figures against an All Heavy team are wrong. Heavies have 300 health, not 400… So, he’d kill ALL of them on a 24 player server in 1 second.

Chris should ruin this blog with an edit button.
21 Fenix Dread // Aug 16, 2008 at 11:42 am

http://tf2wiki.net/wiki/Heavy

Secondary Unlockabe: Sandvich

OOOH.
22 a westie // Aug 16, 2008 at 11:44 am

K, one more thing. I am really sorry about the reposts, Chris! I am not trying to spam! The heavy claims to shoot 10,000 rounds per minute, or 167 (Rounded for easier math) per second. So that’s twice as fast. Meaning he’d do 8,300 damage per second if the trailer were true. Put simply, if he were next to a dispenser, he’d kill EVERYONE visible to him.
23 Swert // Aug 16, 2008 at 11:53 am

Personally, I think the sandvich achievement isn’t actually an item, but a taunt. I mean, obviously it could be anything short of a new character class (Sandvich killed Spy with a tomato!) and I just think, to balance gameplay, it’d work best as a taunt. But I do admit giving the heavy another option to heal on the spot is good, but when’s the last time consuming food cured you of burns, explosive shots, or bullets?

But I do agree it could be an item/secondary option, but I don’t know how he would carry it, let alone use it in battle being shot at. It’d be a very different gameplay. -Swert
24 Redragon // Aug 16, 2008 at 11:53 am

My idea is that when a medic dies he drops a small medipack on the ground. Like everybody drops ammo. It doesnt affect game balance at all, but its totally fun when a random medipack saves you from dying. I think.
I just got this idea when running around crying for medic, and i found only a dead one. :D

Oh and iknow this has nothing to do with heavies, but the best way to get my idea into the game is to comment on this blog :)
25 thebmxeur // Aug 16, 2008 at 11:59 am

Maybe Konspicuous Konsumption is an achievement for the new game mode : a Mario like mode where you have to jump and hit boxes to get sandviches. Once you get 100 you have 10 seconds of uber.
26 a westie // Aug 16, 2008 at 12:01 pm

Swert: When was the last time 1960’s technology let you teleport? When was the last time skinny buys could double jump? When was the last time mounted guns could intelligently distinguish friends and foes? When was the last time a blast of propane from a 20lb tank sent people flying in the air? When was the last time two armies built their bases right next to each other in the middle of the desert?

Food healing is probably the most realistic thing in the game at this point. Plus, it helps if you realize the mayonnaise is actually stem cells.
27 Level // Aug 16, 2008 at 12:25 pm

I bet the sandwich is just a new taunt that you can do after you kill a scout. I doubt it’s one that you kill with.
28 Hogger596 // Aug 16, 2008 at 12:27 pm

I think the sandwich will be a replacement for the shotgun, but it could be a secondary-fire for the shotty…

Example: In “Meet the Scout”, note the shotgun in the heavy’s other hand.

Still, I have a feeling that the sandwich will be a replacement.
29 Smurfy // Aug 16, 2008 at 12:57 pm

Couldn’t you get Heavy Industry by just standing in the spawn room shooting for six seconds?
30 Mike // Aug 16, 2008 at 1:03 pm

Yes, but I think it’s mainly there for the fun of self-reference. :P
31 Joe Glenn // Aug 16, 2008 at 1:15 pm

My guess is that the new alt-shotgun’s TAUNT will be eating a sandvich, which will restore some life if you eat it. However, as with all taunts, you’re left very vulnerable for a few seconds. Id guess you only get 1 per life as well.
32 Duke // Aug 16, 2008 at 1:16 pm

Hogger596, well spotted.
It could really be an “instead-of-shotgun” taunt.
33 Duke // Aug 16, 2008 at 1:17 pm

Smurfy, check calculations above. You’ll get Heavy Industry after firing 1000 bullets which is 5 minutes and 34 seconds
34 Cpt. Falcon // Aug 16, 2008 at 1:37 pm

@Redragon:

on the server i play on, the Tempest, there’s this sort of admin mod that when an engi dies, he drops an ammo crate, and when a medic dies, he drops a medpack.
if you have the wrench out, you can r-click to drop a box of ammo in exchange for some metal.
if you have medigun out, if you r-click (before your uber is built up) you can drop a medpack for some uber.

i think it should be implemented into the game, it allows the engi’s to help others more, and the medic to heal himself.

i can’t wait to see what the sandvich is, i’m hoping it’s your idea chris, where it’s temporary health that fades overtime.
if it’s a shotgun alt, i hope the heavy gets an overall buff and the regular shotgun is replaced by a rifle, like a garand or something, so the shotgun will be used more. (like the airblast for the pyro.)
a rifle would help because it would allow the heavy to be useful against ranged enemies. maybe the rifle shouldn’t have too much ammo, though.
maybe instead of a rifle, the heavy’s shotgun now shoots slugs instead of buckshot, so valve doesnt have to do a ton of work. (a slug is like a big bullet for shotguns, fyi)
35 Xbogey // Aug 16, 2008 at 2:31 pm

So how’s that Nondrick update coming that we were promised?

Do you secretly work for Valve? You sure act like you do…
36 LaZodiac // Aug 16, 2008 at 2:57 pm

In afew years everyone will be working for Valve, so wheter anyone is or isn’t a sleeper agent for them is unnessicary.
37 Polter // Aug 16, 2008 at 3:11 pm

I’m not pleased…Some of these achievement look once again like they are going to be farmed a lot. The pyro-achievments were well thought out, I never felt the urge to farm them.
38 rammingspeed42 // Aug 16, 2008 at 4:55 pm

I dunno, none of the unlockables really scream “achieve me! achieve me!” But then, I was never really a good Heavy player, anyways, so it doesn’t matter.

Like all of the other unlockables so far, I’m just gonna sit this one out.
39 Stephen // Aug 16, 2008 at 5:09 pm

If it costs $400,000 to fire sasha for 12 seconds, doesn’t it only take 6 seconds to fire for 200,000? seems suspiciously quick and simple to get…
40 rammingspeed42 // Aug 16, 2008 at 5:13 pm

@Stephen
Half the battle of the achievement is figuring out, I think. Not everyone has watched the “Meet the Team” vids, and they’ll be saying “what does that mean?” until one day they just happen to be shooting for six seconds and they go, “whatevs….”
41 Baggie // Aug 16, 2008 at 6:28 pm

I, like the pyro and medic achievements, plan to sit this one out.

Although I also recognise that last 2 times I went for the achievements anyway.

I’m an achievement whore… :(
42 rammingspeed42 // Aug 16, 2008 at 8:03 pm

I’m waiting for sniper, demoman, and engie.
43 MadTinkerer // Aug 16, 2008 at 8:23 pm

Last week there was a freak accident where a red engie spawned in the blue base in Gold Rush during the match setup.

I was a Pyro and I had the shotgun out. The engie was right in front of me. So I hit the Q button and OMGWTFBBQ was mine completely legitimately.

The guy playing the engie had a mic and I heard him laughing.

My proudest moment in TF2 so far.
44 rammingspeed42 // Aug 16, 2008 at 8:25 pm

Dude……

Why can’t stuff like that happen with/to me?
45 marglark // Aug 16, 2008 at 8:37 pm

unfortunately there are no unlockables for the spy sapper or the engies buildings. you can confirm this by checking the loadout screen.

A new sapper would have been nice :(
46 Bootsie_B // Aug 16, 2008 at 8:58 pm

Or maybe, a new taunt involves eating sandwiches. AM I THE ONLY PERSON TO THINK THIS?!
47 Pad See Ew // Aug 16, 2008 at 9:03 pm

Sure, give the fatty a sandwich, but don’t let players drop metal for the Engy.
48 Dan // Aug 16, 2008 at 9:25 pm

My vote is the sandwiches play a vital roll in the new game mode.
49 a westie // Aug 16, 2008 at 10:21 pm

@RammingSpeed: Be prepared to wait. They seem to be doing it from the least-played class up, to get people to try every class and keep the teams diverse. Scout’s currently the least played. Before all this heavy speculation nonsense, heavy was at the bottom, now he’s second-lowest on Valve’s stats website.

After scout, it looks like it will be spy. I’m not really sure we need more spies, though. People playing spy tend to be good or completely awful, without much middle ground. Then again, it’d be even more fun to play pyro…

After spy, it’s sniper, then soldier, then demoman and finally engie. Engie seems to be the most played for whatever reason, even though it doesn’t feel like that on a server. Valve gets their numbers by total hours.

@marglark: Keep in mind that screen was made a long time ago. Valve could easily change it in an update. They seem to be coming up with this stuff as they go along, rather than sitting on a stockpile of achievements they get off on withholding.

I feel bad Valve puts in so much work making all of these updates and not getting money from us. It just feels wrong. If Valve wants to get product placement for future updates, that’s cool with me. I’m looking forward to the scout getting plaid shorts from Old Navy (The plaid disorients the other team), the engineer’s new sentry being flat packed from Ikea, etc.
50 Joe Glenn // Aug 16, 2008 at 10:25 pm

@Marglak

They could always change it. I always thought an alt-sapper would be a great idea. For example, sapper does 50% less damage but the sapper takes 2 extra wrench hits to remove, which would buy some extra time for your team to come in and kill it.
51 Ryan Fry // Aug 16, 2008 at 11:52 pm

More achievements to get… yay…
I’m personally not that big of an achievement person, but I do like a lot of the ones that Valve’s been putting out because they’re different.
By the way, I made this hilarious image, but the Concerned forums have severe bot troubles, and I wanted to see what Chris thought of it, so I’ll just post the Photobucket link here and pray…
http://i534.photobucket.com/albums/ee345/fryfactory/hurtwarv2.jpg
It’s a bit pixely, but it would’ve helped if you had turned on AA while you were taking screens :).
52 Gothic // Aug 17, 2008 at 12:02 am

The heavy’s minigun actually shoots 4 bullets per unit of ammo. The bullets spread like mad, which explains the short to long range difference in damage.

Since Sasha fires approx. 6 units of ammo per second, this means that she fires 24 bullets per second. At $200 per round, that’s $4800 per second. Which means all you have to do is stand next to the supply cabinet and go krazy for 42 seconds and Bob’s your uncle.

Maybe they should change it to 2 million.
53 jordan // Aug 17, 2008 at 12:28 am

i read the new entry and remembered something in the meet the heavy vid. i was thinking to do the math and give a smart answer that no-one thought of, assuming no-one remembered the video. then, not only has everyone remembered, done the math and answered, they do it hours before me. that really yanks my colola.
54 Nibwoddle // Aug 17, 2008 at 12:31 am

Am I literally the only one who thinks that the sandwich is part of the mysterious new gamemode? In a sort of “collect the most to win” type thing?
55 Nonomu198 // Aug 17, 2008 at 12:45 am

@50

That would make engineer bases with only one engie quite powerless aginst one spy, and will cause sentry farms problems too.

Making the sapper sap slower but have more stamina gives not only large groups time to come and (savagely) destroy all the buildings, but even a single heavy can come and destroy a farm filled with engies trying to get theier sentries back, and also gives the spy all the time in the world to kill the engies and do the job himself.
56 Eathanu // Aug 17, 2008 at 12:54 am

That is awesome, Ryan.

I did a monkey chow thing that Christ never actually, y’know, acknowledged! =D
57 Eikern // Aug 17, 2008 at 2:01 am

I’m sure the sandwich boosts speed (and maybe 40 hp) so you easily can get out of situations without the healing of a medic.
58 LaZodiac // Aug 17, 2008 at 2:03 am

I assume Mr Livingstons non reaction to your wonderfull fan art is him trying to say the past is over.
59 Chijts // Aug 17, 2008 at 2:59 am

It’s either some part of a new game mode, or instead of your shotgun. If it is something like an extra 100 hp I don’t think it’s really treading on a medics toes.

As a Heavy by yourself I think you’ll find that alot of the time 100 hp will soon be lost in comparison to the amount a medic usually heals a Heavy when they push forward. Not to mention the Ubering, so I don’t think it will hurt Heavy/Medic relations, you’ll just be more efficient at doing something else.
60 Chijts // Aug 17, 2008 at 3:01 am

I’m hoping it’ll be all popeye and make him faster as opposed to stronger.
61 Cpt. Falcon // Aug 17, 2008 at 5:20 am

popeye got faster AND stronger.
actually, i only remember him getting stronger.

if it doesnt play a popeye-like showtune while he eats it i’m gonna make one myself.
62 Ryan Fry // Aug 17, 2008 at 6:27 am

Cpt. Falcon– I remember that Pop-Eye didn’t move fast until he ate spinach, so I think it somehow affected his legs.
LaZodiac– It’s just soo good, he’s either writing up a whole new blog just because of that picture, or I destroyed his eyes. I’m betting on the latter.
Eathanu– I’m sure Christ acknowledged it in his own way. (How did noone catch on to that!!) Thanks, though.
I hope the sandwich makes the Heavy faster, or maybe invulnerability for 30 seconds, five times speed, and the ability to hit people VERY long distance. On second thought, that’s probably a VERY bad idea…
63 Gothic // Aug 17, 2008 at 7:03 am

Yeah. Maybe eating the sandwich would give him God powers of invulnerability, super speed, super strength and infinite ammo for 10 seconds.

Or maybe it just heals health.
64 Gothic // Aug 17, 2008 at 7:18 am

Personally, I love the Rasputin achievement.
65 Noone // Aug 17, 2008 at 8:18 am

Ryan Fry, I catched on that.
66 S-Guy // Aug 17, 2008 at 9:05 am

The sandwich might have to do with the scout, since it was in the “Meet the Scout” video. Maybe every time you kill a scout, he drops your sandwich? ^^
67 HyperKUltra // Aug 17, 2008 at 9:39 am

Maybe Natascha’s taunt is you eating a sandviche, because the achievement “Don’t Touch Sandviche” has you killing scouts with Natascha.
68 HyperKUltra // Aug 17, 2008 at 9:40 am

SPY IS SAPPING MY SANDVICHE!
69 d@niel // Aug 17, 2008 at 9:53 am

I didn’t grind even a single achievement.
I should get an achievement for that.
70 Companion Cube // Aug 17, 2008 at 3:10 pm

Here are my thoughts:

1.Natascha: not a good balance. Maybe with a lower spinup speed, but less damage makes me no want to use it.

2.Unknown: if it will be a sandwich, well, I agree with Pentadact.
If it will be a shotgun replacement, well make it more powerful by about 15%, but slower to shoot.

3.KGB: if my shottie idea is right, well the old shotgun that no one is using will be used!

IMHO, the Heavy is getting more of a downgrade.

Feel free to ground my ideas to the bone, er… sandviche!
71 Companion Cube // Aug 17, 2008 at 3:16 pm

Double post… wait, this isn’t a forum!

Whatever.

I calculated the amount of cash for the Heavy Industry achievement, and it looks like you have to shoot 100 bullet to get the achievement!
72 Companion Cube // Aug 17, 2008 at 3:20 pm

Triple post.. shut up.

About the achievement: Valve went weak on the achievement, but it is just like the Medic achievement to get an uber before a match started.
73 a westie // Aug 17, 2008 at 5:33 pm

Gothic, if you’re right, then that means we don’t get stuck having to spend a total of five minutes shooting off the heavy’s gun in one life, an achievement I would love to work towards (IE actively playing the game, but taking care to shoot a lot and not die to get the achievement. It’s not as bad as farming, I think.).

If Valve doesn’t up the cost of the achievement, I hope they open up the achievement API or whatever so I can make my own achievements just to get that.
74 Aeneas // Aug 17, 2008 at 5:36 pm

Just looking at all the achievements. How valuable are people playing medic going to be! I’ll start charging per hour.
75 Eathanu // Aug 18, 2008 at 10:09 pm

Words hurt, Zodiac. Words hurt.

To cut down on spam, any comment posting a link will be held for moderation. If you'd like to post a link, please paste it into the "website" field and direct others to click your name. Thanks.