What happens when invulnerable teeth meet an invulnerable sandvich?
So, I played a metric assload of TF2 this weekend. First thing to note: there’s really not a huge heavy glut, at least that I saw. Sure, there are more heavies now than there were before the update, but I found, at most, two or three per team, at least on the servers I visited. Of course, this generally means a lot more medics to help them and spies and snipers to stymie them, so the game is still a bit lopsided, but overall, it’s not comparable to the pyro madness that occurred after the last update. I don’t think I heard any complaints about there being too many heavies, and there were never so many on one side that I felt bad about playing heavy myself.
I’ve unlocked all of the heavy’s new weapons. Most of the achievements I got legitimately in-game, though I did farm a few, too. And then there’s some farming that invariably takes place in actual games, such as, say, spending an entire evening ignoring your team’s needs because you’re trying to get a taunt-kill in a real match. Which I did.
It was on Badwater Basin that I began my quest to sneak up on someone and taunt-kill them. It did not go well. Neither on offense or defense. I did manage to get behind the attackers several times, but someone would always seem to spot me as they came out of spawn and shoot me in the back. Eventually, I gave up and went sniper. I still scored pretty much last on my team. Sorry, team!
I also tried taunting enemies as they came around corners on Hydro. Didn’t work so good. Again, my score was rotten.
Then, 2Fort came up in the rotation and, much to my shock, we actually played it. That never happens. I played for real for a while, getting a bunch of legit achievements, but with a full server we were stalemated, so I went back to trying to get my taunt kill. I spotted a sniper on the opposing balcony, and, as the other team was mostly on offense, I swam into their base, crept through their lobby and onto the balcony, positioning myself next to their scoped-in sniper. Taunt.
Miss. He spotted me, scuttled away, shooting me up as I stood frozen in place. Crap.
Sneaking up on people in their base just wasn’t working, so I hung around our base for a bit, being usless by trying to sneak up on invaders as they paused to take down sentries. That didn’t work either, and I died a lot as a result. Not to mention, I was not helping the team effort.
I shifted tactics again, swimming back to the enemy base and thinking that maybe if I couldn’t sneak up on people, I could convince them to sneak up on me. I climbed out of the sewer and shot up the lobby, letting myself get severely injured before retreating around the corner, hoping they might follow to finish me off. Then, it was just a guessing game as to how long it would be until they appeared around the corner.
It worked in that people chased me. They also killed me, as I kept mistiming my taunt. Finally, I coaxed a heavy and his medic to chase me toward the sewer. I waited, trying to estimate how long it would take them to reach me, and then taunted. No one appeared at the doorway as the taunt progressed. Crap. Another miss? And then, just as I drew my invisible pistol, the heavy leapt into view, his gun spinning up. POW. HA HA! His body jerked and he slumped against the doorway. Taunt-kill! At last.
Well, it took all night, but dang it, it was worth it. That’s just a fun way to spend an evening. There is a “me” in Team.
51 responses so far ↓
1 rammingspeed42 // Aug 25, 2008 at 9:01 am
Shoo, I got the bad end of the heavy rush. I went on a server where an entire team was made up of the old bear.
2 Octaeder // Aug 25, 2008 at 9:01 am
I’ve been playing a lot of TF2 this weekend too - Finished off the Pyro unlocks and began on the heavy… Problem was that one sniper on badwater kept getting me every time i took a corner until i got so annoyed I switched to Spy and made it my mission to hunt him down constantly.
then I spent the whole weekend carrying on with the spy thanks to a heavy surplus.
3 rammingspeed42 // Aug 25, 2008 at 9:01 am
FIRST TO COMMENT. BOO-YAH.
4 Jimmay // Aug 25, 2008 at 9:08 am
I consistently find it IMPOSSIBLE to get the taunt kill acheivements.
Also, I thought the weekend was pretty balanced, too. Friday it was still a little crazy, and there’s nothing more depressing than getting home at 6:00 (central time), getting on all pumped about new acheivements for a favorite class of mine and getting punched to death by someone who ALREADY has the KGB. Don’t you people have jobs?!
Although with a decent supply of noobs who had a hilarious tendency to charge a spinning minigun, those acheivements sure did rack up pretty quick!
5 Draco_2k // Aug 25, 2008 at 9:11 am
Ooooh, I’ve actually had one.
Didn’t get no achievement. :(
6 MarshallDog // Aug 25, 2008 at 9:11 am
I got my taunt kill by sneaking up on blue snipers on cp_steel. It’s real easy to get up behind them because they feel all safe in their little booth. I’m real excited about Natascha… the biggest problem I have with being a heavy is that I can’t spin quick enough to kill people at close range, so the new gun should help me a ton.
7 Koslov // Aug 25, 2008 at 9:14 am
I ran into the heavy rush a few times durring the weekend as well. I also went spy and found that many players get extremly paranoid after you have dominated a good precentage of the opposite team.
So I finished off the weekend by spamming the crap out of the fatties with the demo and soilder. Its a glorious mess when you lay a bunch of crit stickies/rockets into the mass of fatties huddled around the cart.
And I have still not gotten the taunt kill in an actual match yet. you lucky bastard.
8 Ev // Aug 25, 2008 at 9:16 am
I got my first finger-kill when a pyro chased me around the corner. Ironically, my Pyro taunt kill involved luring a Heavy around the corner.
9 n00bie51 // Aug 25, 2008 at 9:23 am
Personally, I find it really pathetic that some people work so hard to attain the taunt kill Achievement. I’m trying not to go out of my way to get it because it just makes you look like a selfish jackass who’s failing to help out the team. I’d have to say actually killing people is worth the time instead of failing miserably for the longest time just so I can unlock Valve’s stupid Achievement.
Not that you don’t deserve it or anything, Chris, but I don’t think your team mates deserved to have you doing that on their team. Though, it must have been satisfying to blow away a Heavy about to kill you like that.
10 Wowbagger // Aug 25, 2008 at 9:25 am
I got it in a “real” match but in slightly odd circumstances…I saw another heavy with the KGB running at me to get the Crit boost.
As I saw him coming, I backed off to a corner and hit taunt.He barreled into me, punching away, and got hit by my furious fingers. W00t!
Then I got baseball batted by a scout to death.
11 Pixelburp // Aug 25, 2008 at 9:29 am
I have to say, most of the (admittedly) public servers I have found myself stumbling upon have been like “Heavies Anonymous” meetings. Heavies, Heavies & additional Heavies.
12 FinalFrog // Aug 25, 2008 at 9:40 am
I almost never play anything other than Medic, so I was in heaven this past weekend. SO MANY MANLY FATIES TO CARE FOR! ^.^ Also there were lots of HOT pyros to uber.
13 The Linker // Aug 25, 2008 at 9:43 am
I actually got my taunt kill fairly quickly. It was at the very beginning of Gold Rush stage 2, as the gates opened. I was on offense, and there was another heavy on the other side of the gates. It looked like he was hankering to get a quick taunt-kill off someone unexpectedly too, so we had a classic western showdown. We had to try and taunt not too early, or the gates wouldn’t open in time, but we couldn’t do it too late, or the other guy would smoke us.
“3!”
*heavies staring each other down, fists up.*
“2!”
*both heavies put their hands to their sides. The tension mounts.*
“1!”
*A gun symbol is made, and two arms start to raise… the gates open, and…*
“POW! Haha!”
“ARRRRRRRGH!”
I think that’s the only way you should be allowed to farm it. Heavy achivement servers should just have a gate that goes up and down every 5 seconds, for classic pistol duel showdowns.
14 Super Jesus // Aug 25, 2008 at 9:46 am
Nice job Chris. Now I just have to get my account back, for the 2nd time this year. Fucking hackers.
15 Kazill // Aug 25, 2008 at 9:57 am
I can’t wait to waste hours of my time trying to taunt kill. It’ll be great.
And Linker, that must of been awesome.
16 Rosti // Aug 25, 2008 at 9:58 am
I happened upon a Heavy in the ducts of Turbine last time I was playing and we had the same idea - less than a second between us, I was forced to watch each Heavy stare, draw and my demise, knowing throughout that somewhere, someone would be watching in joy. Grrr.
17 Archangel Tyrael // Aug 25, 2008 at 10:09 am
When The heavy achievement pack was realeased, I actually for the first time in TF2 felt compelled to do the actual achievements…some done on achievement_heavy maps. But the Show Trial is one of the several ones Ive done on live servers. It was a bit tricky to get it, but I found Goldrush to be the best one for me to get it. Started of on attack side, spent the first minutes cleaning up outside the exit to the bomb.
Then I managed to sneak around most of the people and to a sniper sitting up by the boxes in the corner of the building (people familiar with the map knows wich one Im talking about). So I snuck up behind him and did the taunt..the first time he actually moved..so i missed. BUt apparantly he didnt know I was there yet so i got a second chance, where I pulled it off. POW! and there I had the achievement.
Sitting now with all three weapons and trying to figure out a good way to get some kills with the KGB.
-Archangel Tyrael
18 Jimmay // Aug 25, 2008 at 10:16 am
Tyrael, here’s a tip for those shiny new KGBs:
Equip the KGB, run up to some guy that just got home from work and is all excited to play the new heavy pack, causing him to go “Ooh! What are those? Are those the KGB? They’re shiny! How does he have those already?” Then punch him to death before he realizes he hasn’t spun up his gun.
I sound bitter, but really it’s just such an embarassingly funny story.
P.S. I still don’t have the KGB. But I’m not bitter. Really.
19 RC-1290'Dreadnought' // Aug 25, 2008 at 10:17 am
I’m glad I got my uber picture achievement when there were no more enemies. So I didn’t abuse the uber. The medic was just switching to another team mate, but he was nice enough to switch back when he saw me taunt. :) thanks medic!
20 Sam // Aug 25, 2008 at 10:21 am
The bastard medics don’t uber me anymore :(
CHOOSE THE PYRO OVER THE HEAVY!!
21 Xilnold // Aug 25, 2008 at 10:42 am
As a career demoman, this weekend has been hell for me. Every heavy and his uncle want to kill me dead.
Heavy is about my… fifth class in term of playtime? I like it, but it’s pretty situational. I’ve gotten KGB, though (Oddly enough the achievement that unlocked them was the kill with taunt)
As it turns out, the taunt has a bit more range on it then the hadouken. I’d think about halfway across the battlements on 2fort? Not from one battlement to the other, but across your team’s. I was just taunting boredly when a cloaked spy meandered into my field of view. then I got kicked for wallhacking.
Truly this is a great time to be alive.
22 Inquisitor Saturn // Aug 25, 2008 at 10:49 am
I got mine in Hydro, off another heavy who I was shooting that ducked into that little pipe tunnel to eat a Sandvich.
Actually, this happened twice.
In the same round.
In the same spot.
On the same Heavy.
23 bread // Aug 25, 2008 at 10:49 am
So when is somebody going to make a taunt-only Sudden Death?
24 AlphaHawk // Aug 25, 2008 at 10:49 am
Good job dude. Now we just have to wait for Pentaduct to get another .gif image of him taunt killing someone :D
25 Killa-Ewok // Aug 25, 2008 at 11:08 am
HA! Chris, you got busted. Didn’t you say you don’t like Arena? THEN WHY ARE YOU EATING AN UBER SANDVICH THERE!? THIS IS TREASON!
26 Niteowl // Aug 25, 2008 at 11:22 am
You spelled ‘betaray’ wrong.
27 betaray // Aug 25, 2008 at 11:42 am
Whoever fell into your stupid trap must be some kinda moran.
28 The Defenestrator // Aug 25, 2008 at 11:45 am
I somehow managed to get my taunt kill through a gate before the game started.
29 Re2deemer // Aug 25, 2008 at 11:47 am
“… and spies and snipers to stymie them”
Don’t forget Pyros. I’ve wiped the dust off the backburner and it has been working gorgeously.
Big back = Big area for crits.
30 Sgnl // Aug 25, 2008 at 12:22 pm
i play soldier primarily, so I’m glad that there are enough spies and snipers to keep the heavy population low (heh). on the other hand, there seem to be many far better spies playing now than ever before, and for the first time I’m finding myself being backstabbed multiple times per round by the same dude.
@29: I’m not seeing that many pyros, at least not on the maps I play on. which is fine by me, i’ll be happy if I never see another pyro again. the +50hp backburner traumatized me pretty bad.
31 Error1 // Aug 25, 2008 at 2:11 pm
I got my taunt kill on a Sandvich eating heavy. I enjoy the times after a update where one class is heavily played. You haven’t played 2fort until you play a 12 person game with 10 people playing medics.
32 CitrusFreak // Aug 25, 2008 at 2:41 pm
I was just about to post a screenshot I took somewhere, and then I realized it’s the same picture you’ve got at the beginning. UBER SANDWICH. Yours is better, though.
33 Aeneas // Aug 25, 2008 at 3:04 pm
I have only played about 2 hours since Friday my time (NZ) and I have been resisting the urge to farm the achievements. I was VERY surprised to get the Vanguard Party achievement first time out.
I guess I am not so keen on this set of unlocks as the pyro and medic ones so I am happy to pick them up in actual games.
Good work on the taunt kill Chris. I still haven’t been in the right place to do it.
34 Aftershock // Aug 25, 2008 at 4:35 pm
Its a shame.
Just before the pyro pack came out i was really getting into pyro, so i really enjoyed getting the achievements. I’ve always loved medic, so no problem there.
But just as the heavy pack comes out, im getting into SPY. WHY?
I sadly have no real motivation to get the achievements, even though the taunt kills and KGB suit my play style exactly.
Its disappointing..
35 trapped // Aug 25, 2008 at 4:57 pm
I noticed a lot of heavies, I was on one server where I decided to become the tenth heavy on my team. Yeah. No shit. There were nine of them, our team was over half heavy.
So I figured one more wouldn’t hurt.
36 Dm4544 // Aug 25, 2008 at 4:59 pm
Haha, oh wow. I think I saw Chris playing today as a heavy on the Lotus Clan Western US server. The player’s name was very similiar to one we’re all familiar with, and he was even performing some of the activities described in Chris’s post. Man, even if it wasn’t Chris, its an honor to have potentially have served by his side. And lemmee tell you, if that WAS Chris, he’s damn good. He got 67 kills in about 6 minutes.
37 jesus // Aug 25, 2008 at 6:16 pm
uber sandvich is nothing.
i wanna find out what happens when you eat a crit sandvich.
well, by that i mean i want there to be something that happens when you eat a sandvich after a KO with the KGB. but no, alas there is no double health recovery or even some kind of penalty from eating an extra deadly sandvich
38 C.V. Soul // Aug 26, 2008 at 2:45 am
Wait, you got from the sewers to the balcony, as a Heavy, without getting spotted, and you were still stalemated?
39 Companion Cube // Aug 26, 2008 at 3:28 am
Uber sandvich! Is it good? Anyways, nice taunt kill story. I just go to an achievement server and farm on an unsuspecting Sniper, or something. Because if I don’t, it makes me look like a jerk, and I dont want that. It’s not “Fortress 2″, it’s “Team Fortress 2″!
40 Snooglebum // Aug 26, 2008 at 4:31 am
First comment! Yes!
41 Dorian Cornelius Jasper // Aug 26, 2008 at 4:51 am
I just want to see a Kritz-Sandvich. Period.
Does his meal crackle with appropriately-electrical power? Does the sheer power of the otherwise-kinda-pants Kritzkrieg whet the poor man’s appetite?
42 Gothic // Aug 26, 2008 at 8:02 am
A crit sandvich should give the heavy ubercharge.
43 n00bie51 // Aug 26, 2008 at 8:33 am
A Kritz Sandvich should overheal the Heavy up to 450 health points.
Crit taunts should knock a player’s body half way across the map.
44 Jimmay // Aug 26, 2008 at 8:46 am
@Dm4544:
“if that WAS Chris, he’s damn good. He got 67 kills in about 6 minutes.”
From all I hear around here, I doubt that was Chris.
P.S. No offense, Chris.
45 FrohmanForPrez // Aug 26, 2008 at 9:20 am
Freakin’ sweet. I was just happy to *finally* unlock my first unlockable weapon: the Flare Gun for the Pyro. I haven’t had much time to play lately, so I haven’t been able to crank up my achievements like I would have hoped. Kudos on the spectacular taunt-kill, especially on a Heavy with a Medic.
46 Salmon // Aug 26, 2008 at 11:50 am
Loving the heavy update the maps are fantastic, I’m in heaven playing maps that can’t get sentried to hell. Badwater Basin is fantastic, every class with every alternative weapon thus far can do what they’re supposed to (ie backburner pyros can burn backs). Steel is amazing, the only time I played it pre-heavy update included a bunch of people and me who didn’t know where to go. So all of RED team just wandered all over the map wondering what to do. It’s good to know Fishbus got hired to Valve.
The new weapons have ups and downs. The sandvich is fantastic, making the heavy vulnerable to all attacks while he heals is impossible to call OP and certainly isn’t useless. There’s not gonna be any whinging about that. Thank Monte Christo for that.
I’ve already seen a KGB killstreak and I must say, it was great. That was on Badwater, first cap. Some crazy heavy managed to get to the entrance to the tunnel and ran up behind the cart while BLU was distracted because of a sentry or somesuch. I was dead at the time, looking overhead. Couldn’t see what caught their attention. It was a massacre. A hilarious, unbelievable massacre.
Now onto Natascha. This is a good idea; slow people down so they get hit by the weaker bullets more easily. Since the heavy can effectively hit everything and nothing, this helps rack up the kills. Certainly makes scout-heavy battles more challenging, considering if 2 bullets hit you you’re more or less doomed.
I never played the heavy much, to be honest. I always saw him as a slow, clumsy to use pyro with longer range. Doesn’t really appeal to me. I suppose I wasn’t the only one who thought this, hence they decided to update him. I never really saw more than 1 heavy per team. I’ve seen a grand total of 2 people who actually know how to play the class well. You know what? i liked it that way. The sheer amount of spam created by just 2 heavies is ridiculous, I’ve gotten knocked down to an amount of health where I can barely rocketjump without dying because 2 heavies are firing at the entry to the first cap area on stage 1 Goldrush from halfway across the area. Mind you, that’s what the class is made for. Can’t complain.
Thanks Valve, this is a fantastic addition to TF2.
47 Lagged2Death // Aug 26, 2008 at 3:32 pm
I got the Heavy taunt-kill in the middle of a melee-only match on a map called Pacman. Nearly everyone was playing Heavy. On my very first attempt, I took aim for a likely-looking Heavy’s back, hit the taunt key, watched in disappointment as my intended victim sidestepped at exactly the right moment, then LOLed as my taunt clocked a spy (cloaked?) that I didn’t even realize was around. POW! Haha! What ridiculous luck.
Now I can’t decide if that counts as farming or not. And I still don’t have even one Heavy unlockable yet.
48 Companion Cube // Aug 26, 2008 at 6:13 pm
@Lagged2Death:
Nice story. What unbelieveable luck!
49 me // Aug 26, 2008 at 8:05 pm
I used your strategy on 2fort, but apparently those snipers weren’t as alert as yours. People fly surprisingly far from taunts kills.
Also, I have mixed feelings about natachsa. The slowdown is great, especially against those pesky scouts, but I’m used to pyros dying in .3 seconds when they get near me, now it takes an entire one!
50 Miyari // Aug 27, 2008 at 4:16 pm
I got my taunt kill on Dustbowl on a spy at the top of the stairs coming up from the sewer. I was on my way down and ran into him right as he was stealthing, so I was like ‘OPPORTUNITY’ and switched to my fists. The guy backed up, changed disguises, and then came BACK up disguised as a friendly Demoman. He got right up into my face and (of course) couldn’t get past me, because my fat frame was completely blocking the doorway by this point. And then… POW! So beautiful~
51 omicron1 // Aug 27, 2008 at 5:56 pm
It’s a bit cheating, but it’s possible to get taunt kills on unsuspecting people when the doors open at the start of maps. (example Goldrush) They generally don’t think you can kill them that way, and often sit up right next to the gate, so with some timing…
Leave a Comment