The first Spore patch has sprouted legs and crawled out of the primordial – oh, screw the obvious analogy. For those of you playing, the patch addresses a number of aspects of the game, negating in some ways the big huge long post I’ve almost finished writing about a bunch of stuff that has been pissing me off in the Space Stage.
A new “cheat” that allows you to start the creature stage as any creature you want, no matter the complexity. Which is good, I guess, if you want to muck around as a fully formed monstrosity from the get-go. It also ramps up the difficulty on Normal and Hard mode, for those claiming the game is too easy at those settings.
The big ones for me:
Space phase: Made Empires in Easy and Normal modes demand reasonable amounts of money in exchange for peace and adjust the level of punishment if the player doesn’t pay
Yeah, thanks. I was being all peaceful and friendly and getting extorted for ridiculous amounts of cash from nearby empires, and when I wouldn’t, or generally, couldn’t pay, they’d declare war and launch constant attacks on me. Which leads to the next one:
Made disasters less likely to occur in Easy and Normal modes and increased the time between each attack from the enemy empire when the player is at war.
Sheez. Thank you. I was being attacked roughly every 3.9 seconds, which, as a peaceful race, made me want to kill everything, despite the fact that all I had was a fucking “Happy Ray” in my arsenal. It was my number one complaint — having to constantly race back to defend my homeworld and colonies against attack when all I wanted to do was explore. The only way I found to solve the problem on my own was to travel so far away I wouldn’t get the distress calls. I lost seven colonies this way, even earning an achievement for being such a terrible cosmic administrator. I’d like that particular badge to be redacted, please.
In fact, the title of the post I was working on was FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP ATTACKING ME PLZ. Seriously:
There are also a number of animation, creation, and gameplay tweaks. Full list here.
PS: Microforce Go! Microforce Fly! And coming soon, Microforce Float!
44 responses so far ↓
1 Daggerdino // Sep 19, 2008 at 8:01 am
I believe you are the most brilliant man alive! (Oh, and I’m first!)
2 Pentadact // Sep 19, 2008 at 8:05 am
The patch notes are uncannily close to an inversion of my list of complaints in my review, so I’m super-happy. These changes really just maximise the chances of any given person having as much fun as I did, but the game experience is still dangerously random, because it’s so dependent on whose content shows up.
3 Smurfy // Sep 19, 2008 at 8:17 am
I’m going to check out the new evoadvantage cheat.
Do you think they’ll be nerfing the backburner anytime soon?
4 Rovlad // Sep 19, 2008 at 8:32 am
Those are second best tags I’ve ever seen.
5 Gerfboy // Sep 19, 2008 at 9:08 am
Here are some more announcements about Spore. I’m especially exited about the multiple screen names option.
http://forum.spore.com/jforum/posts/list/2897.page
6 Christopher // Sep 19, 2008 at 9:24 am
Cool. I know that was a big complaint, especially for my friends with kids.
7 SBF // Sep 19, 2008 at 10:53 am
Now with FREE EA Download Manager!
8 Mr. Brit // Sep 19, 2008 at 11:05 am
http://www.ubercharged.net/2008/09/18/gang-garrison-2-tf2d/
Not really on topic but seriously, this needs a post!
9 Niteowl // Sep 19, 2008 at 11:32 am
Wondering if there is a Sporepedia .. uh.. stream.. cast.. thing. Featuring only professional designers’ work.So like, the guys who did the concept work for Star Wars, and the dude who did the modelling for the new Cylons, that sort of thing.
Because that sort of content would be sweet.
Something I’d almost pay a microtransaction fee.
Say, 1 buck for this stream. Say 5 artists, guessing 50k ppl do this. Let’s be draconian and say EA takes half, that’s still $5k for each artist for (probably) several hours of work.
Damn, I should wear a fricking powersuit and have 3 martini lunches or something.
10 a westie // Sep 19, 2008 at 11:58 am
When Chris complains, we get a patch. I imagine this goes beyond games.
11 Bandito // Sep 19, 2008 at 12:01 pm
I’ve noticed that the Happy Ray doesn’t make them all that damn happy, anyway. For what it costs, that thing should make them completely freaking ecstatic. Everyone on the planet should just throw spice at me and then immediately buy it back at a markup, because they love me.
12 Generic Username // Sep 19, 2008 at 2:53 pm
Yarr. It be talk like a pirate day.
START THA PIRATE TALKIN, SCURVY
13 Kowl Slaw // Sep 19, 2008 at 4:24 pm
YAR I SEE WHAT YOU BE DOIN’ THAR.
14 A Person! // Sep 19, 2008 at 4:41 pm
YAR HAR TWIDELLY DEE!
15 rammingspeed42 // Sep 19, 2008 at 6:46 pm
CUT THAT PIRATE JABBER, OR I’LL BE HAVING YA KISS THE GUNNER’S DAUGHTER….
16 Gothic // Sep 19, 2008 at 6:52 pm
DO WHAT YAR WANT ‘CAUSE A PIRATE IS FREE
…until he hits a god damn game patch.
17 Decoy Sanchez // Sep 19, 2008 at 7:30 pm
Thank god! I was abusing the developers after doing the chore boy BS of having to save a colony for the billionth time (which for some reason it can’t do itself even after the money I spent on turrets and heaps of planes) only to leave said planet and have it immediately call for help again.
So glad the patch is out, I was seriously not going to keep playing it cause of that alone.
Also, Chris and his many websites are awesome.
18 ScotlandTom // Sep 19, 2008 at 9:31 pm
Anyone playing Spore may want to wait on downloading the patch. There are a whole slew of complaints on the official Spore forums, as well as other fansites. I’m unfortunately one of the many who now experience frequent crashes, sound lagging, graphics issues and extremely long content loading periods during play.
19 Justice // Sep 20, 2008 at 3:55 am
YAR, I be thanking ye Scotland Tom for the piratical tip, and shall be making you cur the second mate!
That’s right you scurvy dogs, I be being the Captain of this here Ship!
RAGH, ’cause it be a pirate thing to say!
So you lubbers, swab the deck! And prepare to sail… for Adventure!
20 Chijts // Sep 20, 2008 at 4:18 am
I’m quite surprised by this patch, I really didn’t expect any sort of update any time soon.
21 Kowl Slaw // Sep 20, 2008 at 4:41 am
Yar, patches come at thar most unexpected to times mateys.
22 Mr. Brit // Sep 20, 2008 at 6:05 am
@19, and who be the first mate?
23 Kowl Slaw // Sep 20, 2008 at 7:10 am
I BE THAR FIRST MATE, FER I WAS THAR FIRST ONE TO RESPOND TO YE CALL OF PIRATE TALK.
24 Bootsie_b // Sep 20, 2008 at 7:34 am
Thank you GOD. I was constantly being forced to return to my homeworld to defend it every 2.736 seconds at the start, until I finally, FINALLY had enough money for the Level 2 Laser.
When I mannaged to save up enough to buy the level 3 laser, I marched right into the weaker of the two empires that kept attacking me, and reduced them to pulp in a matter of seconds. It was awesome.
Also: I recently saved up enough money (and earned enough badges) to buy the Planet Buster. Only three words could possibly describe it: HO LY CRAP. True to it’s name, the massive bomb reduced the planet to a floating blob of magma.
Then, I realised that apparently I’d “broken the Galactic Code” and every Grand Council Race declared war on me. So I had to reload the save I’d made twenty minutes earlier. Not that I couldn’t have just killed them all, but I actually valued their alliances.
Hot damn, that was a long post.
25 Ep1c F4il // Sep 20, 2008 at 12:43 pm
Eh this game’s ok, i dont really agree that its to simplistic but it is repetitive i saw a review at pixelisk.com that was ok… episode 1 go watch it
26 Slamhound // Sep 20, 2008 at 3:01 pm
@18
Not a problem. Firing up EADM revealed it to be hideously broken since I last ran it, so no patch for me until I can be arsed to fix it.
27 Justice // Sep 20, 2008 at 3:34 pm
AHAHAHAHA, Mr. Brit be having the right ideas for a glory hungry pirate, but more polite than the lot of them! Kowl Slaw, he’s piratical to his very nature, shiver me timbers, look at the fierce way ‘ees yellin.!
Only one way to settle this diabolical contestion!
What’s yer favourite thing about being a pirate?
28 A Person! // Sep 20, 2008 at 5:50 pm
THE RUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
29 Deadly_Dragon // Sep 21, 2008 at 1:19 am
Anyone else getting “There was an error when trying to apply the patch”? It comes up after I’ve endured the in-game download and I click ‘install’.
Please help!
30 Smurfy // Sep 21, 2008 at 5:18 am
@21 I didn’t actually read #21 I just felt like replying to it.
I can’t believe you said that, #21! That’s racist.
31 Deadly_Dragon // Sep 21, 2008 at 6:16 am
Just to let everyone know I got it working - thanks to this link:
http://forum.spore.com/jforum/posts/list/3173.page
Anyone getting the same problem, go there and do as it says.
32 Kowl Slaw // Sep 21, 2008 at 7:52 am
Plunderin’ thar landlubers, thar be the best part o’ being a pirate.
Aye, and the rum.
33 ErikZ // Sep 21, 2008 at 8:33 am
Meh. There are better space RTS games out there.
34 Mr. Brit // Sep 21, 2008 at 9:53 am
Yeah…..? But is it really a space RTS? I’s like a massive 3d paint program with crude zoidberg’s and giant boners that fall over clumsily. I don’t think Spore is trying to edge out games like GalCiv etc.
35 ErikZ // Sep 21, 2008 at 12:16 pm
Well…
It’s in space.
And you do strategy things in real time.
So yeah, I’d say it’s a space RTS.
I suppose they took off “NOW WITH GIANT BONERS!” from their marketing script.
36 windragon122 // Sep 21, 2008 at 8:08 pm
STOP PLAYING SPORE AND UPDATE LIVING IN OBLIVION!!!
37 Mr Brit // Sep 21, 2008 at 10:11 pm
@35, but that sounds so simpified. It’s like calling the Douglas Adams (hitchikers guide) a mammal. True, but doesn’t quite capture everything.
38 Trithemius // Sep 22, 2008 at 12:22 am
Dear readers,
I’ve had my own horrible experience with the new SPORE patch. Listen well and learn from my mistakes…
The patch has, in essence, destroyed my enjoyment of the game. Prior to the patch I got CTDs in the Space Phase - but so long as I saved regularly I just had to restart the game.
Since the patch my new games catastrophically fail after their first CTD - once it CTDs I can no longer open that world without triggering a CTD in the loading screen (the one with the “Twiggering the Majiggers”-type messages). I’ve had a game die in the Space Phase and in the Tribal Phase.
I’m predictably ecstatic that the patch has rendered the game effectively unplayable for me. I mostly sit about making things in Editors now until my inability to do anything with them builds my irritation to a killing frenzy and I go and play TF2 instead.
Sincerely irritated,
Trith.
39 Trithemius // Sep 22, 2008 at 12:30 am
Re: 35
Dear ErikZ,
I have heard similar statements from my real life chums and I shall tell you what I have told them (repeatedly):
SPORE is not five complete games, in their full splendour and complexity, mashed into one; it’s one game with five distinct-yet-connected phases. To expect SPORE to be Radiant Silvergun + Oblivion + Age of Empires + Civilisation + GalCiv 2 is something of a failure of expectations-management.
If you find yourself possessed of a burning need to play GalCiv2 might I suggest an excellent alternative to SPORE for those who want the authentic GalCiv 2 experience: GalCiv 2.
Please note that you can substitute NEARLY ANY GAME into that previous paragraph and it will still be true. It isn’t fair to evaluate SPORE on the basis of games that do not share its objectives. It’d be like trying to evaluate the ability of a late-1980s Soviet-designed ekranoplan to make a good espresso. Or possibly like comparing an apple to an orange, if you aren’t really into ekranoplans or espresso.
Sincerely,
Trith.
40 Justice // Sep 22, 2008 at 12:34 am
Thar thar Trithemius, it be alright. You can be the humourous Albino Pirate if ye be wishing?
(*actually, I’ve had my experiences with software failing, and I know how much of a bother it is. It’ll get fixed, somehow.)
And the position of First Mate goes to Chris, of course, for he be the fine man who introduced me to yar chap Froman. Good man, aye, good man.
SO! Kowl Slaw, ready to go and plunder ‘thar Royal Navy scoundrels? I mean, what self-respecting piratical captain with a loyal crew of swabs would attack land lubbers? HARHAR. Avast!
41 Justice // Sep 22, 2008 at 12:34 am
Thar thar Trithemius, it be alright. You can be the humourous Albino Pirate if ye be wishing?
(*actually, I’ve had my experiences with software failing, and I know how much of a bother it is. It’ll get fixed, somehow.)
And the position of First Mate goes to Chris, of course, for he be the fine man who introduced me to yar chap Froman. Good man, aye, good man.
SO! Kowl Slaw, ready to go and plunder ‘thar Royal Navy scoundrels? I mean, what self-respecting piratical captain with a loyal crew of swabs would attack land lubbers? HARHAR. Avast, me hearties!
42 Trithemius // Sep 22, 2008 at 12:48 am
Re: 40, 41
Dear Justice,
Henry Morgan may have received far less plunder than initially expected during the Sack of Panama but he did get knighted for it.
That is right, a Pirate-Knight. Take that, cowardly Ninja.
Sincerely,
Trith.
43 Justice // Sep 22, 2008 at 2:12 am
Yar, knock wood upon the cursed name of the dreaded Ninja clan. ARRRR, I dare not say more!
(*Needless to say, wordpress seems to have made my post appear twice, for which I must apologize apologetically for.)
44 Man Raised By Puffins // Sep 22, 2008 at 5:27 am
@ Trithemius: Ouch, and I thought I had it bad when the patch introduced CTDs every five minutes (usually coinciding with planet transitions) with the game having been 100% stable before.
I would re-install the game and not patch it this time around if it weren’t for the whole three installs thing. :sadface:
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