So. At Microsoft’s E3 press conference, they (well, GLADoS) announced that Portal: Still Alive, an expanded version of the original game, would be coming exclusively to X-Box Live Arcade in the fall.
The reaction from Valve’s PC gamer fans, including myself, was: “Whut?” Surely, it couldn’t be content coming from Valve that was exclusive to a console, right? They must have meant, in terms of consoles, it would be exclusive to X-Box. Valve wouldn’t shank us loyal PC gamers in the back, would they?
Of course not. Still, I went to the Steam Forums to see just how pissed off everyone was, quickly finding a thread titled Thanks for spitting in the face of PC gamers Valve. Ah, the Steam Forums, where Valve is always ruining something.
From there I visited the Portal: Still Alive thread, where a member of Valve (forum name jmccaskey) assured everyone that no, dumbasses, Valve would not spit in the face or shank in the back or do anything to any body part of their faithful PC audience.
Where does Ron Paul fit into this? Well, I wanted to know jmccaskey’s first name for this entry, so I googled a bit, and found his first name is John. I also found this link, that shows he donated $300 to Ron Paul’s campaign.
And I just thought I’d mention it. Luckily, the rest of Valve’s political donations went in much saner directions.
47 responses so far ↓
1 Pentadact // Jul 17, 2008 at 11:02 am
Ooh, that’s dangerous talk on the internets. Also, what about the $2000 dollars he gave to Bush/Cheney in 04? Surely money worse-spent.
Wow, we are invading this guy’s privacy HARD.
Good job digging up the info - I was still waiting on official word from Doug.
2 Sinister Minister // Jul 17, 2008 at 11:13 am
*sigh* Hopefully in before platform war. (again)
3 J3553 // Jul 17, 2008 at 11:27 am
Called it!
4 The_Linker // Jul 17, 2008 at 11:43 am
Bah, whiny PC people. I don’t have an Xbox 360, but if they want to release these new maps on it before it comes to PC, I honestly wouldn’t mind at all. It actually would be kind of a balancer; poor console players can’t get all the patches and class updates and new weapons for TF2, might as well throw ‘em a bone. :P
Buuuut, I guess maybe it’s just me. I did have to come to peace with the fact that Beyond Good and Evil isn’t coming back to Nintendo consoles. What a slap in the face to all their loyal Gamecube fans, right? Right!? …what, why’re you all looking at me like that?
5 Eother // Jul 17, 2008 at 12:02 pm
I wouldn’t call any political donation sane. I mean, they have plenty of money to campaign with. They should give us money. Then I would vote for them.
6 garash // Jul 17, 2008 at 12:52 pm
RON PAUL 2008 RON PAUL 2008 RON PAUL 2008 RON PAUL 2008 RON PAUL 2008 RON PAUL 2008
7 rammingspeed42 // Jul 17, 2008 at 12:55 pm
Nah, Valve realizes that their fan and consumer base is a bunch of retards sitting in front of PCs (myself included) that believe that the gaming world revolves around them, and if they ever did something like this, Valve’s offices would be razed to the ground. They no better. There’ll prolly be the “Still Alive” update on the PC games (maybe for a price), and they’ll sell the 360 version retail.
Luckily, I didn’t play Portal, so I really don’t care…
@Pentadact:
Bush was the best that year had to offer. Seriously.
@Eother:
Right on, brotha.
8 Mr brit // Jul 17, 2008 at 12:56 pm
Lol, The_Linker thinks the gamecube has fans…
Ok, Valve have about three weeks to do something to the PS3 orange box before I personally kill them all (Actually until about the time Portal 2 comes out, after that they can die, altough knowing them, they’ll anounce TF3 or something just when you think you can rest…). Seriously, I don’t mind waiting for the TF2 unlocks ’cause I want them all at once so there are no Medic teams etc. but Badlands, Goldrush and Well (CTF) have been out for F***ING ages!! Why can’t we have those. And now Valve throws some free Portal stuff at the stupid 360…. Why would anyone with a PC get a 360! A PS3 at least has exclusives, virtually everything on the 360 is on the PC and I can guarentee if it isn’t the PC has a better alternative. It can’t be for the community (they just shout, I’ve tried it), so why….?
9 Koslov // Jul 17, 2008 at 1:05 pm
It’ll come out for the PC *starts to rock back and fourth*
Oh and I wonder if JMcCaskey was traped my TEAM ROOMBA and was forced to pay. You know how thos hooligans are.
10 Xbogey // Jul 17, 2008 at 1:30 pm
It’s a good thing I started hating Valve long before this.
They make great games, but they need to get their shit together.
11 Eother // Jul 17, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Yeah! Lousy Valve, always making great games that are even greater on the PC! Lousy Valve releasing free updates with new weapons and maps! Lousy Valve for having an awesome distribution system! Lousy Valve with it’s intimate connection to the gaming community! I hate them SO MUCH!
12 Tiler // Jul 17, 2008 at 1:41 pm
I liked Ron Paul.
I’d be less annoyed if people actually bothered to research and refute his faults (which he has more than enough of) that just running around saying ‘OMG THAT GUY’S BONKERS LULZ’
I mean, crap, people have been complaining for years, asking for someone who had independent views and wasn’t afraid to support unpopular things. Someone who wasn’t 100% Republican and/or Democrat. And along comes Paul, and people turn right around and complain about him because he supports unpopular things, he wasn’t 100% Republican/Democrat… sigh.
13 Punjab // Jul 17, 2008 at 1:42 pm
@Pentadact: $2000 to Bush!? Holy motherfuck!
14 rammingspeed42 // Jul 17, 2008 at 1:44 pm
@Xboey:
Eother has a point….
15 Ledundead // Jul 17, 2008 at 3:37 pm
Does anyone know if it’s new maps or a whole new game to be downloaded? I just hope I don’t have to shell out $20 for it, when map packs go for between $5 and $10 dollars.
16 mr. Brit // Jul 17, 2008 at 4:47 pm
valve like freebies, I’d be suprised if they charged for a map pack. I’d be more suprised if ps3 got a go
17 Eother // Jul 17, 2008 at 5:10 pm
@Tiler
Yeah, I actually like Ron Paul also.
18 Mouse // Jul 17, 2008 at 6:01 pm
RON PAUL KICKS ASS! Ron Paul ‘08!
19 coda // Jul 17, 2008 at 6:11 pm
Actually, I quite like Ron Paul too. I wish people would not just say “oh, that crackpot” and actually look at his views reasonably. Please look at his ideas, and why he stands for them. I highly recommend Ron Paul’s new book “The Revolution: A Manifesto”. I would send you one, but I’m just a lowly high schooler.
btw, a quick fact: back in 2007 (I don’t know the new numbers) Ron Paul received the most donations from the military. Are you implying that our military is full of crazies?
20 a westie // Jul 17, 2008 at 7:03 pm
I highly suspect the PC crowd will do whatever it takes to get those levels with or without valve. They will take a perfectly good xbox apart, they will break millions of decryption keys, they will do anything to get that mod even a second before it comes out on PC. Also, I imagine it’s just a console exclusive, meaning it’ll also be on PC. Bioshock said it was an Xbox 360 exclusive on its box.
21 Punjab // Jul 17, 2008 at 8:48 pm
@coda: “Are you implying that our military is full of crazies?”
…Is that a joke? I thought being crazy was a job requirement for soldiers.
22 Tiler // Jul 17, 2008 at 10:24 pm
I notice the change in tags and wish to file an official statement.
” >:I ” - Tiler
23 neamos // Jul 18, 2008 at 2:18 am
Christ, when I saw “Ron Paul” in the title, I thought you were a supporter.
It’s so relieving to know that my favourite blogger isn’t one of the internet-basement-dwelling-libertarian-misanthrope-FUCK YOU, I GOT MINE crowd.
Also, in before the comments are filled with “The racist nutjob wasn’t so bad!!11″. I mean come on, the gold standard? Jesus Christ.
24 jordan // Jul 18, 2008 at 3:14 am
guess what everybody! my 360 crashed! i cant play it any way! *gunshot echoes down the comments*
25 Lack_26 // Jul 18, 2008 at 4:00 am
Right guys, I’ve got the pitchforks, time to stand outside the ‘The Valve’s’ offices and force them to bring it to PC.
But yeah, I’m a PC Purist, I had my first go on a 360 only last week, in a four way match on a projector at school, also Halo 3 is really mediocre and I’m not keen on controllers, I mean I can see the appeal but I just don’t like them, but people will still play consoles until you can play with a keyboard+mouse on the sofa.
26 J3553 // Jul 18, 2008 at 7:45 am
Political Discussion on the Internet?
Can we get back to gaming stuff? Please?
27 Super Jesus // Jul 18, 2008 at 8:37 am
I think that VALVe will release it only on 360 and PC.
28 Eother // Jul 18, 2008 at 12:52 pm
@Punjab
Yeah, you’re right. You’d have to be crazy to go do a job that involves being shot at and bombed for a country with citizens that will hate you for doing it. Personally, I think our soldiers deserve a little more respect. It’s easy to criticize from the comfort of your home.
Also, I’m sure the maps will come out on PC. It’s a console exclusive, but I suspect that just means the PS3 won’t be getting it. Up to this point, the consoles have been getting really screwed on extra content, anyway…let the poor dogs have a bone.
29 Erkle // Jul 18, 2008 at 5:10 pm
@Eother
I definitely agree. Its also quite easy to say “LULZ HE’S BONKERS” from the comfort of a blog.
30 Remnant // Jul 18, 2008 at 8:11 pm
Wait, wait, wait.
So PC users get easier, more intuitive controls. They get TF2 games capped at 32 instead of 16.
They get Counter-Strike: Source. They get Garry’s Mod. They get Zombie Panic Source and all the OTHER great Mods for Half-Life 1 and 2.
And they think Valve is spitting in their faces by releasing a version of Portal that might be a few hours longer?
Good God, talk about childish. And I purposely say “they” because they give us other PC gamers a bad name.
31 Jackrabbit // Jul 18, 2008 at 10:53 pm
well said
32 Jackrabbit // Jul 18, 2008 at 10:56 pm
although i have none of those save garry’s mod. but i could if i wanted to
33 thezeus18 // Jul 19, 2008 at 2:03 am
If it was good enough for PC, Valve would put it on PC. It’s probably just challenge maps or something.
Didn’t the N64’s Starcraft come with the Brood Wars expansion before the PC got it?
34 Dave // Jul 20, 2008 at 5:24 am
Hooray! I feel somewhat less neglected as a console gamer! But the maps are being ported to OC eventually to prevent dumbasses from getting flustered. So I feel like I’m being decieved. Whatever, Portal.
35 Pentadact // Jul 20, 2008 at 1:31 pm
So it turns out the only extra stuff is that free pack of maps inspired by the Flash Portal game:
http://www.gamesetwatch.com/2008/07/portal_still_alive_explained_1.php
Kind of a let down for all concerned. I’d rather Xboxers got new content and we didn’t than no new content at all.
36 Punjab // Jul 20, 2008 at 2:43 pm
@Eother (again):
Yes, I am right. It is mad to want to do “a job that involves being shot at and bombed.” What part of that isn’t crazy?
Don’t give me that “for the country” bullshit either. What, is there a draft all of a sudden? No-one’s forcing you join. (As for people who don’t have any other career options, that’s another matter).
I didn’t say I think there’s anything wrong with the military (I do, but that’s not the point). I just can’t understand why someone would actually WANT to put themselves in danger like that. That’s what I think is crazy.
And @Erkle, I live in the UK, so I don’t give a damn about Ron Paul.
Sorry for being argumentative btw. No hard feelings :P
37 Eother // Jul 20, 2008 at 2:57 pm
@ Punjab
Actually, I wouldn’t want to be in the military either, and I don’t expect you to. Getting shot at would suck.
I just don’t like it when people talk bad about our soldiers, who deserve better. They are just doing their job…if you want to be angry at somebody, make it the government. They give the orders.
Obviously we had a misunderstanding. Sorry ’bout that!
Anyhow, on topic. The Portal thing kinda sucks for the console users. I thought they’d be getting something good.
38 jmccaskey // Jul 22, 2008 at 1:38 pm
Wow, who would have thought anyone cared?
The Ron Paul donation is accurate. I don’t agree with everything Ron Paul stands for but I think his message of greater personal liberty was important this year in the midst of many other republican candidates who aren’t true conservatives and have pushed for a more invasive and controlling government. He had no chance to win the nomination, but helping him further the message of liberty is worth while in my eyes.
The one from 04′ to Bush that Pentaduct dug up isn’t me though. You’ll see the name on it isn’t quite an exact match and the donation was from a student at Stanford. I never went to Stanford but instead went to Seattle Pacific University closer to home. If you google for John McCaskey and Stanford together you’ll find there is someone under that name who was a Ph.D. candidate and later professor of philosophy there. Must be him.
Of course none of this has anything to do with Portal or Valve though. You guys should play more games and worry about me less :)
39 Niteowl // Jul 22, 2008 at 2:31 pm
If you can think of a better stalking target Mr. Valve man, I’d like to hear it.
Over the phone.
40 Christopher // Jul 22, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Hi, John.
I don’t honestly care about your contribution and wasn’t trying to light a fuse or start some big Ron Paul debate here. It was more of a joke and a way to end the post, as I’m pretty sure you recognize.
I just don’t get many scoops — most of my blogging is just linking to real journalists and real articles, so when I find a tidbit somewhere that no one else has, I get all excited and have to post it.
But hey, another scoop — someone at Valve reads my blog! Eat it, Tom Francis!
41 Niteowl // Jul 22, 2008 at 2:33 pm
I’m just joshing, I’d never stalk a real Valve person.
On a side note, Gordon, stop pulling down your blinds. You know I can’t afford infrared yet.
42 nmccaskey // Jul 22, 2008 at 3:00 pm
Har har, this jmccaskey guy is clearly a nutcase! I mean clearly! Supporting personal liberty!? Nutcase! We’ve clearly seen what “freedom” has done for us, i.e. allowed Valve to publish games for consoles!!! This is a disgrace!
Anyway, good work jmccaskey, you know your really famous when people try to dig up dirt on you. And therefore, that makes me sort of famous too, right? If anyone needs any more inside info, I’m selling secrets for $5 a pop. Who is I??? You’ll never find out, go ahead and try!
43 PentadAct // Jul 22, 2008 at 5:31 pm
Ha, I take no credit for digging - that little fiction is on the same page as the true bit Chris linked. Their definition of “contribution records for this person” is a little unscientific. Thanks for weighing in John.
@Chris: no YOU shut up.
44 jmccaskey // Jul 22, 2008 at 5:57 pm
@Chris
No worries I didn’t take it the wrong way at all. I just wanted to respond to pentadacts ‘allegations’ :)
45 Mouse // Jul 23, 2008 at 10:43 am
Dude, you rock, jmccaskey.
46 TheKaiser // Aug 1, 2008 at 7:25 am
i think its about time the 360 got SOMETHING!! I agree with Mr. Brit (despite his instantiated 360 slurs) we NEED unlocks, maps and updates.
47 TheKaiser // Aug 1, 2008 at 8:42 am
sorry i meant to type unsubstantiated not instantiated, stupid spell check!
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