Another post popped up on the Official TF2 Blog on Friday, indicating some good news for the future: Valve is working on some new environments, map elements, and gameplay for TF2. I dunno about you, but as much as I like the art and look of the TF2 maps, I think it would be great to have a break from the whole desert industrial theme.
And it sounds like Valve agrees. Rather than simply announcing they are working on new art designs, they give us a peek at their thought process in coming up with them. We can play along, too. What kind of environments would you like to see in TF2? What kind of art assets would you like to build into your own maps? I’d personally like to see some space-age stuff, sort of in the style of how people in the fifties and sixties thought we’d be living in moon bases by now.
In other news, the Steampowered stats page now displays player numbers for every Steam game. Not just Valve games, every game available on Steam. Which is cool.
Scroll down to the bottom of the stats page to expand the list and see how many people are playing Counter-Strike, TF2, Garry’s Mod, Bioshock, COD4, etc. You can even see that six people played Infernal today. The poor dopes.
216 responses so far ↓
1 [@] Chronos[Ha-G] // Aug 4, 2008 at 9:25 am
Wow - I read your pyro post (Which was the top post at the time), responded to that, and then proceeded to read the TF2 blog…only to come back and see this post here.
Stupid coincidences. They make me look bad.
2 Ro // Aug 4, 2008 at 9:34 am
I wouldn’t mind seeing some urban environments integrated into the game–we know Valve’s doing stuff similar to it for Left 4 Dead anyway, a bit of that in TF2 would be pretty cool.
Examples
1. A city-street flavored conquest map in the style of Dustbowl–I could see a “city assault” map being pretty cool, with some kind of citadel entrance as being the final map.
2. Skyscraper capture the flag–There’s a map called “corporation” that’s basically along these lines, but it’s fairly incomplete–could be hundreds of stories up, with a couple different ways to get across.
Another cool idea could be a train-robbery style map…again, assault/defense. Convoy’s a pretty good map now, but it’s just CTF, and based off of a UT3 map–could see some train hijinks being pretty cool.
3 J3553 // Aug 4, 2008 at 9:52 am
Valve is just killing time because they can’t think of any Heavy upgrades.
4 Sam // Aug 4, 2008 at 10:24 am
I think Chris’ idea is great because it’s silly,the more serious settings like urban and jungle wouldn’t go well. Also it would be great if all the skins changed for the maps like giving everyone foil spacesuits with clothes hanger antennae. =D
5 Tim // Aug 4, 2008 at 10:50 am
Space could be cool. Maybe each team only has a few space suits, and the other team could turn off the oxygen in certain areas using control points, and medics would need to revive any character without a space suit in those areas before they asphyxiate, and engineers would need to restore oxygen functionality.
6 friccish // Aug 4, 2008 at 10:56 am
Judging from the pics, I’m guessing they’re toying with ideas for farmland, as opposed to a desert setting.
Also, I love the new stats reporting. I love it because it doesn’t lie about the number of CS 1.6 players anymore like the old one used to. And I love it because it shows that TF2 beats out at least one variant of CS on a consistent basis.
7 Plaz // Aug 4, 2008 at 11:10 am
How about an oil tanker or some kind of destroyer ship where both teams must try to capture the same neutral intelligence?
8 rammingspeed42 // Aug 4, 2008 at 11:20 am
Definitely stuff in the sorta future stuff. I’m not sure about moon bases, which could be a really weird map with weird physics rules, but more of the retro-futurist. Rockets. Nukes. Robots.
Ok, maybe not robots.
9 DeliriumWartner // Aug 4, 2008 at 11:25 am
The whole moon base thing is spot on. Think Evil Genius, with its 50’s style. You know you can see through some windows on some maps, through to these huge gleaming computer rooms or control rooms. That!
10 ClearlynotaRobot // Aug 4, 2008 at 11:31 am
Why do you hate robots?
Robots are your friends!
11 Dwight K Schrute // Aug 4, 2008 at 11:37 am
“How about an oil tanker or some kind of destroyer ship where both teams must try to capture the same neutral intelligence?”
Bahahaha, I just had the image of two teams trying to cap the same intelligence, but with each team’s capture room being at the other team’s spawn. That would be stupidly awesome.
12 McFool // Aug 4, 2008 at 11:45 am
Snow or GTFO
13 rammingspeed42 // Aug 4, 2008 at 11:46 am
That wouldn’t fit into TF2, really. Moonbases yah, nukes are already there. Robots.
I dunno.
14 Mr brit // Aug 4, 2008 at 11:49 am
Yeah, a neutral intel would be a great addition!
I like the moon base style and the skyscraper idea, especially if it was partially destroyed so that some skill was required to navigate it. Perhaps a volcano, with RED having a base inside it and BLU capping CP’s. Or a rocket launch site which is a payload map but at the end the rocket launches instead of a bomb detonating. I think a 50’s American suburban map would be a laugh. Something with wide open spaces but clusters of interiors making it tense to move away from cover.
15 John // Aug 4, 2008 at 12:53 pm
I heard of some people working on a volcanic island sort of map, where BLU attacks from some submarine and RED defends up to the secret volcano base. That sounded kinda neat.
16 Mr brit // Aug 4, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Just as long as the secret base has sharks with frikkin’ lasers on their heads….
What about a HL themed level. So based around the citadel, white forest base or ravenholm!
Ravenholm is full of traps that the players can activate by hitting them with a melle weapon and when you die, there’s a 40% chance you zombify. The dead body gets up again with triple(!) health but you move slower and can only use melee weapons….
17 Fred // Aug 4, 2008 at 1:16 pm
I vote for Shopping Mall. It’s the perfect time to strike!
PUSH THE SHOPPING CART.
18 Companion Cube // Aug 4, 2008 at 1:32 pm
I would enjoy the Space-Age stuff. The RED would start in the command center, and the BLUs in a hangar. That would be cool. And the last cap would be in a city, with the BLU spawn next to the destroyed Space Station, and the RED spawn next to the city hall. You woould have to navigate subways and skyscrapers, while the REDs build in the little Suburban houses. Awesome. I like the idea about the neutral inel, and if my idea works, well expect the Heavy to have a skin on FPSBananna that has a helmet that says CCCP on it.
19 Aeneas // Aug 4, 2008 at 1:39 pm
What about bases kind of like in the 60’s and 70’s James Bond movies?
Also Fred’s idea of a shopping mall.
Also how about a theme park?
20 [@] Chronos[Ha-G] // Aug 4, 2008 at 1:44 pm
@ 15 -
I think I actually played the map you’re thinking of - it was on some European server. It still needs work, since the layout is rather confusing. It also didn’t help that there weren’t any directions posted anywhere, and the ui wasn’t working for the map.
21 wonkey donkey // Aug 4, 2008 at 1:57 pm
the one with the voclano is tc_meridian and it laos has giant robot, sweet map.
i think something crazy like a prehistoric setting with dinos and the characters should all wear lioncloths…
also i’d like to see a skybase style level which is flying along..
constuction site ctf too.. the intel would be in the formans shed.
22 Dalton // Aug 4, 2008 at 2:00 pm
Personally, i’d like to see some like antarctic science station type of enviornment, or maybe sovitet russia!
23 a hot guy // Aug 4, 2008 at 2:18 pm
themepark would be great! Especially with working rides. You’re walking along when a heavy in a dodgem cart wizzes past!
Also an entite level set on a train that is moving. U can get on the roof snd it stops at a couple of stations which have CP’s. U have to take the train between them so it leads to tense moments when a lone spy is trapped on a station with a team of pyros.
24 a hot guy // Aug 4, 2008 at 3:26 pm
I think the antartic would be a good idea, give BLU some camo for a change.
25 wolferey // Aug 4, 2008 at 3:44 pm
I’d have ‘em battle it out in a secluded norwegian snow mountain base with lots of cows and sheeps.. On second thought, don’t do that, I want to make it now xD
26 Jonah // Aug 4, 2008 at 3:47 pm
Valve ruins maps.
27 AlphaHawk // Aug 4, 2008 at 4:08 pm
*Ahem*
HUNTED!
That wasn’t a desert industrial map. I mean sure it was ripped right from the Half Life level, but still. It could be urban, plus they already seem to have the Fatty model. (sniper vid)
28 Plaz // Aug 4, 2008 at 4:36 pm
A Hunted map in a suburban area? Like, a “Leave it to Beaver” neighborhood. hehe.
29 Q-toy // Aug 4, 2008 at 4:37 pm
I was thinking, maybe a a huge map where four red bases surrounded a bunch of bunkers on a huge hill with a large blu base in the middle of the bunkers which contains three blu intel cases which red tries to bring back to their bases that contain missile silos and if red completes their objective, a missile is launched from one of the red bases and hits the Blu base annihalating anything inside and the building itself.
30 Inspiration // Aug 4, 2008 at 4:40 pm
I for one dont want to see any space station or urban shit. Do we really want even more industrial maps? Go for jungle, arctic settings please! PLEASEEEE!
31 John // Aug 4, 2008 at 4:48 pm
I kinda agree with Inspiration - somehow I find it hard to work the secret base/world domination/incredibly unsubtle infiltration theme of TF2 into an actual city. Plus, with city maps I always ask myself: Where are the all the people?
32 Mr. Brit // Aug 4, 2008 at 5:09 pm
all the civilians have donned gasmasks and are defending their city with flanethrowers.
A ‘proper’ fort that red defends would be fun. Bly has 1 CP to get but it is easy to defend and breaching the walls is tricky. Moat offers an underwater route to a pond. Part of the wall is scaleable for demos, soldiers, engys and scouts and there are two thin passages for other classes.
33 Tim // Aug 4, 2008 at 5:29 pm
I’d like the idea of a shopping mall filled with 60’s and 70’s style products. Oh, and said mall would need a Sears, just for all the engie jokes in the hardware section. I could see a clothing store being a great place to show off cinematic physics, clothes flapping around in the wind. Granted, it would kill any graphics card out there most likely.
Maybe the goal would be to push a cart of fireworks from the 4th of July store to the grilling section at Sears, set it off, and then have it blow up all the propane tanks!
It’d also be cool if certain shops had little benefits for certain classes. The sunglasses shop could be high up, have lots of cover for the sniper. The Sears would have great places to put the engineer’s sentry. Pyros would have lots of corners in the grilling section. Scouts have lots of places to double-jump to at the sports shop. Of course, I could come up with things for the heavy at the food court and stuff for the medic at the pharmacy, but I’m out of ideas. If Valve never makes a mall map, we need to force a mod team to do it. I’m loving this idea.
34 Tim // Aug 4, 2008 at 5:35 pm
Oooh, and I see the Arctic map being cool (no pun intended. Seriously, I hate puns). Maybe Red has a nuclear reactor hidden underneath the ice, and Blu has to infiltrate down a long spiral staircase, fighting off defenses as they go. Naturally, there are sniper bunkers for Red, so the surface isn’t very safe, either. Once Blu gets in, they need to change the settings of the reactor (read: get control points, or maybe have an engineer wack several control panels while the rest of the team guards him) to start a meltdown. If Blu succeeds, the reactor explodes, vaporizing itself and causing a massive shockwave, shattering the ice and creating tidal waves, ensuring everyone left is dead or almost dead, underground or topside. It’s like the end of Goldrush on steroids.
35 rammingspeed42 // Aug 4, 2008 at 5:41 pm
It had a peak of six players on infernal today. Supposedly, there is one hardcore player.
36 S-Guy // Aug 4, 2008 at 6:13 pm
Space Maps:
* What are the costs in building this compared to the value it creates for the end user?
Possibly low gravity? Cool surroundings, new feel.
* What are the obvious types of new gameplay that we can create with this theme?
Again, low gravity, possibly expanding on that for new game types.
* Is this environment flexible enough that we can leverage it for our other gameplay types?
I would think so. CTF would sure be interesting.
* Is this environment flexible enough to be usable for ideas we may come up with in future updates? Depends on the ideas. Maybe, maybe not.
* Is this type of thing recognizable to a larger set of people?
Oh yeah. Everybody loves space.
* Has it been used successfully anywhere else? Has it been used too often?
Yes, and, *groan* YES.
* Does it create a unique experience that people will be drawn to?
I find low gravity appealing. I also like the view from space.
* Can we leverage existing art assets to help build the new environment?
Yes. The maps in TF2 are buildings that have secret military bases hidden in them. There’s always a moon base!
If only it wasn’t used so much. *sigh*
37 Nibwoddle // Aug 4, 2008 at 6:28 pm
City.
Snow.
Forest.
Space Station.
Mountains of sorts.
38 Myrmidont // Aug 4, 2008 at 6:52 pm
Does anyone else but me remember the old TFC map Mooncheese?
39 VenomKing666 // Aug 4, 2008 at 6:56 pm
I would like to see a forest environment, the kind with huhe ass trees, because a battlefield full of trees cannot exist in the current industrial desert environment, and because I love big forests.
40 Mr. Brit // Aug 4, 2008 at 7:09 pm
I don’t think anyone got my Austin Powers reference @16 :(
I think a map that does vertical not horizontal would be great. BLU battle their way to the top of a tower and RED defend.
41 jordan // Aug 4, 2008 at 7:49 pm
i got it mr brit, i just thought i would look stupid if i pointed it out. but then, i AM stupid. THE LORD GOD CHRIS
42 [@] Chronos[Ha-G] // Aug 4, 2008 at 9:04 pm
@ 38 -
At least one other person remembers that map - that was fun. I liked the buttons in the moon base entrance that put up an image of a heavy pointing their gun directly at the front door.
43 ClearlynotaRobot // Aug 4, 2008 at 10:06 pm
A new idea. Falling out of a plane for a level. Trampolines on the ground.
44 AlphaHawk // Aug 5, 2008 at 12:12 am
@38-
You beat me to it, I was gonna suggest that. That map was so awesome. I mean when the lunar lander didn’t get stuck :/ But still. You had to fight your way onto the lander, into the control room. So awesome.
45 Gothic // Aug 5, 2008 at 3:21 am
They should do one for each class’ homeland.
Desert would be the Engy’s homeland, I figure. I propose they come up with Siberian wasteland next (for Heavy).
Also, tropical forests. Because they’re awesome.
46 The TubStar // Aug 5, 2008 at 3:31 am
I want to see more payload maps (like gold rush), perhaps a payload map but with both teams pushing a bomb, but going in opposite directions!
47 Erik Z // Aug 5, 2008 at 5:40 am
I think mountain terrain would be neat if the engine could pull it off. All the maps that I’ve seen for it have perfectly flat floors/terrain.
48 DoctorDisaster // Aug 5, 2008 at 7:49 am
I like the moon base idea, but I think it would be much truer to the gameplay and the genre to have the gravity not affected at all. Moonraker anyone?
I also like the thought of duking it out in suburbia, but it gives me gameplay worries. You’d have to come up with some pretty contrived ideas to provide enough cover that snipers wouldn’t own the streets.
Of the ideas discussed here, I think my top pick would have to be the volcano lair. A lot of the existing art assets, if differently lit, would look perfect there. And it opens up a few new gameplay options without totally overthrowing the existing order of things: floors that set you on fire, rising lava levels or floors that cool to form new paths on point caps, that sort of thing.
I’d also really love to see underwater bases. A lot of the industrial art assets would work well in a submarine environment, and again it opens up cool new gameplay options without requiring a heck of a lot of new stuff to introduce. And besides, you know the valve guys will have a blast making cartoony underwater animals to swim by outside the windows. Sharks with frickin’ lasers, indeed.
49 Myrmidont // Aug 5, 2008 at 9:46 am
@42 and 44: Aha! So i’m not the only one! That’s good to hear.
Yeah, I enjoyed the lander fight and fighting on the ‘moon’. That is, when i’m not waiting for the damn thing and finally finding the damn .wad file that would let me play the map.
50 Mr. Brit // Aug 5, 2008 at 2:16 pm
48, suburbia could have cars for cover, fences etc. Underwater would be cool. Terrifying swims through a stretch of water barely under the breath limit. And you’re right about the creatures. One of those giant fish from HL in tf2 style.
51 Sam, the orignal // Aug 5, 2008 at 3:03 pm
How about a Dharma Institute lab? Valve did leave Lost easter eggs in HL2: Ep2. Why not a strikingly similar underground lab to say….the hatch?
Moon base is a cool idea, or maybe a underwater station that sort of thing.
52 Dreimar // Aug 5, 2008 at 3:53 pm
I really like the idea of a train. The moments where tension is building right before the set-up timne is over are awesome, imagine watching a train roll up to the station, sentries all aiming at it, with no idea what is coming.
53 Mr. Brit // Aug 5, 2008 at 5:27 pm
cool idea @51. Have the whole island though. You have to capture a small demoman running around and bring him back to base (plane for BLU, others camp for RED)
54 iflurry // Aug 5, 2008 at 5:35 pm
Totally unrelated, but I played Steel for the first time the other day.
I didn’t even want to at first. And I didn’t read much of what you even blogged about it.
But it’s my new favorite map. Thanks, Chris.
55 Cpt. Falcon // Aug 5, 2008 at 5:43 pm
I agree with most that an urban city level would be too industrial like.
What we need is a residential suburb, where most of the action goes on in between (and on top of one-story-) houses, with some action on the streets. the streets would have to have a lot of abandoned cars and buses, because although it contradicts the suburban feel, its necessary like said before so that snipers don’t own the streets.
A construction lot would be great, not really industrial, because it’s mostly a foundation, with lots of construction vehicles still in it.
Shopping mall is a must, maybe one of the two story ones.
Moon base would be a great change of pace, but it would probably end up looking like any other level except with a different skybox. :\
Outside levels would be cool, i’m thinking an egyptian themed one, a lot like in serious sam, with temples and pyramids and stuff. i’d prefer grass over sand, however.
And just because i’m me, there needs to be a remake of an easily recognizable half-life 1 level. maybe the first level (past the tram).
It’d also be fun to play in the first level of half-life 2, fighting from the train station to the rooftops.
All those two levels would need are a ton more alternate routes and i think they’d make great levels.
56 jordan // Aug 5, 2008 at 6:29 pm
i’de add my ideas, but SOMEBODY doesn’t give downloads to the 360….yes, I’m talking about you, Valve!!
57 Mr. Brit // Aug 5, 2008 at 6:31 pm
yay, serious Sam!
58 Mr. Brit // Aug 5, 2008 at 6:33 pm
Jordan, same for ps3 :(
59 Dwight K. Schrute // Aug 5, 2008 at 7:08 pm
How about an office building environment, possibly skyscrapers as suggested earlier? Also, some sort of Arctic Theme would be cool as would a Tropical Beach environment.
60 VenomKing666 // Aug 5, 2008 at 7:20 pm
I still think a big forest with big trees would be nice.
61 drunkenbeetle // Aug 5, 2008 at 10:56 pm
I really hope they continue with the whole ‘evil genius’/bugs bunny theme.
62 jordan // Aug 5, 2008 at 11:43 pm
bugs bunny?
63 Myrmidont // Aug 6, 2008 at 12:21 am
@jordan: Hey, you play TF2 for 360? D=
64 jordan // Aug 6, 2008 at 12:39 am
yes, i play tf2 on an xbox 360. i would play it on my computer, but it completely sucks at games, and I can’t afford a good one.
65 jordan // Aug 6, 2008 at 12:41 am
wtf i cant connect to steam
66 jordan // Aug 6, 2008 at 12:49 am
STEAM IS DOWN(for me) STEAM IS DOWN!!!(for me) theres only one reasonable thing to do. *blam* *splat* *thud* *meow?*
67 AlphaHawk // Aug 6, 2008 at 2:14 am
@Myrd:
Remember the Ka escape maps?
68 Myrmidont // Aug 6, 2008 at 2:15 am
@jordan: Same here, I play on 360 as well, same story. No good computer, yadda yadda…any chance of getting your gamertag and play some rounds?
69 jordan // Aug 6, 2008 at 2:24 am
my gt is ‘i hav no mike’ because when i first got it, i didnt know that people would know whether i had i mic or not. but i have 1 now, the downside is i was using an inconpatible modem, and it tottally screwed up, and i cant play xbl anymore!!! :,(
70 jordan // Aug 6, 2008 at 2:25 am
everythings not coming up jordan!
71 jordan // Aug 6, 2008 at 2:27 am
but, alas, allI can do is drink at the fireside, and dream of times of old…
72 jordan // Aug 6, 2008 at 2:34 am
god im depressed.
73 jordan // Aug 6, 2008 at 2:37 am
but hey! I just got a mic for the computer! So now I can talk on Counter-Stri- oh, thats right STEAM refuses to CONNECT claiming IM not connected, even though I AM.
74 jordan // Aug 6, 2008 at 2:37 am
I mean, look at me! I’m posting like a madman! I’m so fucking crazy, bro!
75 Valve // Aug 6, 2008 at 2:38 am
I will give you heaps of free shit, Jordan
76 jordan // Aug 6, 2008 at 2:39 am
you had your chance! Now I’m gonna end it all! RIGHT……NNNNN………NNNNNNN…NOW!
77 the female population // Aug 6, 2008 at 2:39 am
nooo! i cant live without this lovable madman!
78 jordan // Aug 6, 2008 at 2:40 am
its too late for any of this!
79 Cop // Aug 6, 2008 at 2:40 am
dont do it, son!
80 jordan // Aug 6, 2008 at 2:40 am
screw you all! I’ll do it!
81 Cop #2 // Aug 6, 2008 at 2:41 am
You crazy kid! get down from there!
82 jordan // Aug 6, 2008 at 2:41 am
*jumps* *falls* splats*
83 Cop 2 again // Aug 6, 2008 at 2:42 am
ugh, what a mess
84 jordans remains // Aug 6, 2008 at 2:42 am
*dead*
85 narrator // Aug 6, 2008 at 2:45 am
and there it was, the saddest moment in history, the act that caused the end of the world, when all things female threw themselves into a volcano. That, was the way the world ends. The End.
86 FraktuRe // Aug 6, 2008 at 2:47 am
TEMP FORTRESS!
I think you’ll like this chris :P
http://www.wegame.com/watch/Temp_Fortress_2/
87 Mr. Brit // Aug 6, 2008 at 4:29 am
wow, I missed one hell of a drama. I assume the funeral is coming up?
88 reverend // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:35 am
and as we walk through the valley in the shadow of death…
89 reverend // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:36 am
we will remember you. may you rest in piece.
90 everyone // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:36 am
amen
91 Cop // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:40 am
may I say a few words, reverend? thankyou. i only met this kid today, *weeping in background* but i could tell, he had a lot of guts. and now they’re splattered all over 69th street. amen.
92 Cop #2 // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:42 am
God damnit! its not right when an older man outlives a child! Its not fair! *crying, cop 1 puts a hand on his shoulder*
93 a good looking female // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:43 am
i just cant live without him!
94 reverend // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:44 am
he has gone to a better place, my daughter. now, if we all begin the send-away song, we can give him a proper send off.
95 everyone // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:46 am
*holding hands*
we’re all in this togeeeeeether, wer all in this together,*random assortment of lyrics, ranging from Linkin Parks ‘What I’ve done’, to that banana phone song.
96 Gothic // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:47 am
I still want my tropical forests.
97 narrator // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:50 am
and on that day, everyone learnt a valuable lesson, ranging from the importance of friendship to checking the expiry date on milk before you buy it. the temporary end.
98 everyone // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:50 am
god dammit, gothic! you interupted a very moving moment!
99 Dr. Frankenstein // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:54 am
*Later that night, someone sneaks into the graveyard. He rapidly finds the grave and recovers the body before returning to his cliff top laboratory. A storm is brewing as he places the body on the table. As the storm builds, he connects a series of complex wires to the corpse. Suddenly lightning strikes and the corpse groans. Zombie Jordan is born…!*
100 reverend // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:55 am
a man has DIED here today, and all you can think about is your tf2 maps?
101 zombie jordan // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:56 am
melonz plzkthxlol
102 Mr. Brit // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:56 am
*At the wake*
At least he didn’t have to taste these disgusting sandwiches….*The door flies open, Zombie Jordan standing there as lightning crashes behind him*
Ohhhh shit….
103 zombie jordan // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:59 am
ima eat ur face!
104 narrator // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:00 am
the zombie advances on mr brit, and is wacked by a tree through the window! the plot thickens!
105 cop 1 // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:01 am
jesus, its the kid! hes a zombie!
106 Mr. Brit // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:01 am
*Soils himself and hides behind an elderly women*
107 everyone other than cop 1 // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:02 am
duh
108 cop 2 // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:02 am
mr brit! stop hiding behind my mother you bastard!
109 seargent johnson (wtf) // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:04 am
fire your weapon, man!
110 cop 1 // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:04 am
were screwed man! were screwed! *shoots himself*
111 cop 2 // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:05 am
jesus! fuck, no! Fred! Fred! noooooo! NOOOO!!
112 narrator // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:06 am
cop 2 holds his dead friend as the zombie advances toward the group, another twelve inches and heel be a quarter of the way there!
113 zombie jordan // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:07 am
ima comzin to get u!! lololol
114 cop 2 // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:08 am
*holding a grenade* run! everyone! ill take him down! for Fred!
115 everyone // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:08 am
*running away* kk
116 cop 2 // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:09 am
see you in hell, you stupid motherfu-KABOOM!
117 narrator // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:11 am
the building explodes outwards, showering the hillside with rocks n shit. a rather large bit of shrapnel takes down cop 2s mother, splattering her all over the hills.
118 Mr. Brit // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:12 am
*Running past a woman screaming for help, a baby clutched in her arms and her legs crushed beneath some masonry*
Who the hell brings a grenade to a wake?!?
119 Mr. Brit // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:13 am
*Slips on cop 2’s mothers brain and falls over*
120 that hot female // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:15 am
dammit, brit! theres no time!
mr brit: but im fin-
girl:we have to leave you!*runs away*
mr brit: right…
121 narrator // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:16 am
mr brit scrambles to his feet as a shadow falls over him. he turns and sees…..
122 zombie jordan // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:16 am
hai
123 fake mr brit // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:17 am
AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
124 narrator // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:18 am
they engage in benny-hill type activities, like running in circles and that one where they come out of different doors and stuff.
125 narrator // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:20 am
drawing his sword, mr brit turns and faces his foe.
126 Mr. Brit // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:20 am
(don’t I have a say in this….)
Yeah, running around and around, followed by a zombie…. I think I can make a break for it…
127 Mr. Brit // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:20 am
Oooh, I’ll go for the sword thing…
128 zombie jordan // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:21 am
join drk side. we has cheeseburgerz lol
129 Mr. Brit // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:21 am
*Smiting the zombie*
Mwah ha ha ha!!
*Zombie explodes into thousands of smaller zombies*
Dear lord! A badly conceived boss battle!
130 Nibwoddle // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:21 am
wtf?
131 jordan // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:21 am
sorry, i keep just posting and posting. you have a turn
132 Mr. Brit // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:22 am
Fortunately, at the wake I picked up just the item to defeat the zombies. A gun!
133 Nibwoddle // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:22 am
What the hell does this have to do with anything?
134 jordan // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:23 am
nibwoddle, get down! theres a huge thing going on here! really epic!
135 mini zombie jordans // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:24 am
no! a gun!
wtf
hax lol
cant hax in reel life fool
shutup
dont dis him
no u
wtf
136 mini zombie jordans // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:26 am
lets attack mr brit till he posts again!
137 Mr. Brit // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:27 am
*Before pulling the trigger, debates wether cheeseburgers are worth it*
Oh what the hell
*Zombies consume him, making him one of their own*
138 mini zombie jordans // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:27 am
for the horde!
lol
wtf
he has a gun
so
we screwed
lol
u sed screwed
shut it
touchy
fuck off
lol
roflpants
roflpants?
stfu
139 Zombie Mr. Brit // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:27 am
HaxLol Brainz…
140 Zombie Mr. Brit // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:28 am
*Devours brain he slipped on*
141 mini zombie jordans // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:29 am
one of us! one of us!
lol
chant
loser
gtfo
stuf u
fuk u
wana go?
bring it
lol catfight
lol
stfu u dikwad
roflmao
nerd
no u
142 Zombie Mr. Brit // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:29 am
Rofl Lol Hax wtf!! Me eat all of you!!!111
Lulz…
143 mini zombie jordans // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:30 am
*brain eating orgy*
144 narrator // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:31 am
and so, the mini zombies all ran around trying to kill each other while talking like idioits.
145 narrator // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:32 am
look, folks, I have absolutely NO idea where this is going.
146 zombie mini jordans // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:34 am
lets go after the hot girl at our wake!
yeh
totaly
i agree
amen
lol
lets do it
yeah
boobs
147 jordan // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:35 am
mr brit…i need some support here…losing the crowd…
148 Zombie Mr. Brit // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:35 am
Me want chesseburger..lol
*Hax cheeseburgers for all*
Lulz
149 J3553 // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:36 am
oh crap, zombies.
*J3553 grabs shotgun*
150 zombie mini jordans // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:38 am
fuck the girl cheeseburgerz!
yeay
lol
boobz
yeh cheeseburgerz!!!
lol
rofl
hax
hax?
ya
wy?
idk lol
i want boobz
151 Zombie Mr. Brit // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:38 am
(There’s a crowd?)
*Shambling after the departed funeral goers…*
Lol, brainz…Boobz….lulz…
152 J3553 // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:39 am
man, these zombies have really good opinions.
*Zombiefies*
153 narrator // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:39 am
the zombie mini jordans advance on j-three triple six- oh FUCK that. your called jesse now.
154 Zombie Mr. Brit // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:40 am
Shotguns nerfed against Zombies!
*Is blown aprt by a sigle blast*
Lol, Hax
155 zombie mini jordans // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:42 am
zomjordicons! assemble! *all the the mini zombie jordans transform into the massive Zomjordinater.
156 Zombie Mr. Brit // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:42 am
*God mode was on*
Lol, yay, mor zombeez!!
Pledge allegience to Zombeez!
Lol
157 Zomjordinater // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:43 am
i gtg we can continue this 2morro. bye.
158 Zombie Jay-three-five-five-three // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:43 am
But, I’m a zombie now.
159 Jay-three-five-five-three // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:44 am
Oh, back to normal.
160 Jay-three-five-five-three // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:44 am
160 FTW
161 Zombie Mr. Brit // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:48 am
Lol, just 40 more posts needed…
162 Jay-three-five-five-three // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:50 am
for
163 Jay-three-five-five-three // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:51 am
what?
a page just popped up saying i was commenting too fast.
164 Mr. Brit // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:52 am
Posts 74-156 document the epic tale of Zombie Jordan and to a lesser extent Mr Brit and J3553 (As well as anyone else who posted).
165 Mr. Brit // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:53 am
for 200 posts! Most ever posts!!
166 Jay-three-five-five-three // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:59 am
ok
XD
167 J3553 // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:59 am
changes name back to J3553
168 J3553 // Aug 6, 2008 at 7:01 am
ITT: we guess our post number.
167
169 J3553 // Aug 6, 2008 at 7:01 am
darn
169
170 J3553 // Aug 6, 2008 at 7:01 am
170 FTW
171 Dwight K Schrute // Aug 6, 2008 at 7:48 am
Wow I hope no one actually read that bullshit.
172 Stuperkid // Aug 6, 2008 at 1:23 pm
Well I did.
173 Stuperkid // Aug 6, 2008 at 1:24 pm
I’m interested to see what sort of comments people will write from here on…
174 Mr. Brit // Aug 6, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Stfu dwight
175 narrator // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:19 pm
but this epic tale has no end! the author buckles himself in to do some serious impersonations!
176 zomjordinater // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:20 pm
come, my brothers! we must devour at least 200 coments! FOR THE HORDE!
177 dwight // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:21 pm
i is gay lol im stupid and gay lololol secks plz
178 dwight // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:21 pm
but seks
179 fake zombie mr brit // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:22 pm
dear GOD! its DISGUSTING!
180 fake zombie mr brit // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:22 pm
200 commetns ftw!! lololol
181 jthree triple nine sixteen fourty eight // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:24 pm
why am i not a zombie? :’(
boobz lol
182 seargent johnson (wtf?) // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:27 pm
time to die, you surprisingly good-looking zombie bastards! *shk-chk* shoop. da. woop. *bang! bang! bangabangabangabang!*
183 zombie rights activist // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:29 pm
stop! i order you to stop under the ethical treatment of zombies handbook, page 345654 paragraph 9!
184 seargent johnson // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:29 pm
whut da fuk?
185 zombie rights activist // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:31 pm
stand away from the zombies, or i will call the police! they are completely harmless! *impaled on zombie mr brits sword*
186 fake zombie mr brit // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:32 pm
rofl :P
187 zomjordinater // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:33 pm
pwned lol
188 fake j3553 // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:35 pm
lol, nice-*brains eaten by zombies*-one. iz zombai agan! ftw!
189 zombie zombie rights activist // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:37 pm
ah shit. my missus will NOT like these bloodstains! i am so screwed! *murders himself* aaagghh! i cant die! nooo! nooooo! NOOOOOOO!!
190 Xerxes // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:38 pm
surrender your weapons!
191 King Leonidas // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:39 pm
Come and get them! Spartans! Tonight, we dine in HELL!
192 Spartans // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:40 pm
RRROOOOOAAAARRRRRR!!
193 Zomjordinater // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:40 pm
wtf
194 author // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:41 pm
lol idk i was just watching 300 so i just put that in lol
195 narrator // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:42 pm
and so, the two armies fought, and the spartans died, but got zombiefied and got back up and kept fighting!
196 narrator // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:47 pm
the other zombies entered the battle too, zomjordinater, zombie mr brit, and of course, K9.
Zomjordinater ran around and stomped on soldiers toes. Mr brit skilfully spun in circles with his sword, taking down hundreds of molecules.
K9 barked and exploded. oh right, soz.
and j3553 threw toothpicks at his enemy, causing some irrataion. it was a bloody battle, but it was a hilarious battle. in the end, everyone became invincible zombies and kept getting back up.
197 narrator // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:50 pm
zombie xerxes challenged the zombie king leonidas to a one on one battle, and zombie king leonidas accepted.
198 announcer // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:57 pm
welcome to tonights show ladies and gentlemen!
in the red corner, which used to be the blue corner, but now theres heaps of blood and shit, is zombie Xerces! *silence* and in the other red corner, zombie king Leonidas! *earth shaking applause*
Without further bullshit, LLLLLLLETS GET READY TO SHAAAAAMBLE!
199 zombie king leonidas // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:58 pm
im gonna knock yo block off
200 zombie xerxes // Aug 6, 2008 at 5:59 pm
oh shit! *head gets smashed off*
201 announcer // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:01 pm
and the winner is….is…….is…..IS…….IS!!……IS!!!!!…….zombie king leonidas! the new champion of the world!
202 zomjordinater // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:02 pm
bs i bet ten bucks on xerxes! ZOMBAI RUSH!
203 fake zombie mr brit // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:02 pm
lol RUSH EM!
204 announcer // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:03 pm
and the zombies are rushing the arena! this is madness!
205 zombie king leonidas // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:04 pm
madness? THIS….IS….SPARTA!!! *kicks announcer into the pit of death*
206 narrator // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:06 pm
and so, the zombies killed all of everything, including me. boobz plz k thxlol
*credits roll as poser boy band rock plays*
207 everyone // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:06 pm
The End.
208 jordan // Aug 6, 2008 at 6:14 pm
106 fucking posts! dont even TRY to beat my record! FUCK YEAH!
209 Mr. Brit // Aug 6, 2008 at 7:26 pm
Wow! *backs away slowly*
This didn’t get out of hand fast…
210 Mr. Brit // Aug 6, 2008 at 7:27 pm
congratulations though
211 ClearlynotaRobot // Aug 6, 2008 at 7:30 pm
Nuke the comments from orbit.
It’s the only way to be sure.
212 jordan // Aug 6, 2008 at 8:10 pm
the link to this page is in my name cos im fuckin crazy.
213 Sam // Aug 7, 2008 at 5:32 pm
the hell?
214 zombie jordan // Aug 7, 2008 at 8:58 pm
dont even try to understand this.
215 DoctorDisaster // Aug 8, 2008 at 11:15 am
And lo, the brief window of time when the 1fort comments’ rational discussion of TF2 upgrades were worth attention has come to an end. Bye, Valve!
I mean seriously, they could read the steampowered forums if they wanted commentary THIS insightful.
“god unlocks r so stupid!!1 MOAR CONCS PLZ”
216 Baejung92 // Aug 9, 2008 at 10:58 am
Did the newer post get shut down? Because this one looks like it might need that too.