In a transparent bid to get his name mentioned in my increasingly popular blog, a notable member of the Valve team joined a TF2 Badlands match I was playing last night.
We were on the same team for a bit, and he even played the same class I was. Copycat. Plus, at one point he stole a medpack that I was clearly next in line for. Yet seeing me atop the leaderboard, where I generally reside by a wide margin, was too much for his fragile ego so he switched sides. For all the good it did him.
Actually, it did him a lot of good because he kicked the living shit out of me repeatedly and quickly led his side to a convincing victory.
Whatever! He’s just lucky I was playing soldier and not sniper. Well, except for the time when I played as a sniper and he instantly shot me in the face with a rocket and killed me. And then I switched back to soldier and got killed a bunch more times.
Anyway. I’m still not mentioning his name, so. Cry some more.
17 responses so far ↓
1 madlep // Mar 18, 2008 at 2:05 pm
Name names!
The guilty must be punished!
2 Joe // Mar 18, 2008 at 2:24 pm
Someone took over my role of blowing you up?! How dare they?!?!?!
3 Lack_26 // Mar 18, 2008 at 2:30 pm
We will hunt him down and give him… a stern talking to. Also that is kinda cool.
4 Derek // Mar 18, 2008 at 2:41 pm
That’s pretty funny.
5 sortie // Mar 18, 2008 at 2:52 pm
You mentioned his gender. He wins! If I had more time I’d poke through all the Valve members and see who’ve played TF2 lately and then filter out the unknown ones. In the end I’d have list of people who possibly could be the guy.
Oh and your largest fault was to say who he worked for; now it could possibly only be 100+ people or something like that. ;-)
6 Pentadact // Mar 18, 2008 at 2:57 pm
I guess Chet.
Never play against Iika or Finole. Iika has heat-seeking rockets and Finole has pre-planted stickies on every inch of the map, so he only has to right-click to win.
Here in the UK, the only gaming celeb I’ve found to play against with a decent ping is Garry of Garry’s Mod. He plays Heavy and he’s ridiculously good.
7 Kenny // Mar 18, 2008 at 3:06 pm
I have an awesome screenshot of me, my friend and garry topping a server with a resounding win :P. He is pretty handy with the old minigun!
8 sortie // Mar 18, 2008 at 3:13 pm
By the way, next time you Meet the Valve, say that you need that Paraticle Editor from the Source SDK for your comic. (We the modders really need it ;-)
9 Oliver // Mar 18, 2008 at 5:34 pm
“owned pwned and frohwned” I wish I still had that frohwned spray, but I can’t find it anywhere.
10 Alek // Mar 18, 2008 at 6:12 pm
“cry some more nub lawl
cry some more nub lawl
cry some more nub lawl
roflmfao”
Great song.
11 Derek // Mar 18, 2008 at 7:53 pm
I love the frohwned spray. I think I still have it.
12 Ninja // Mar 18, 2008 at 10:32 pm
someone call the WAAAAAAAAAAAmbulence
13 Ninja // Mar 18, 2008 at 10:33 pm
Hey, you just changed the header images to say 1Fort. Nice.
14 Joe Snuffy // Mar 18, 2008 at 10:50 pm
Names or it didn’t happen. lawl
This reminds me of the time I had a incognito CSS tournament player on my team who was deadwood until he switched sides and proceeded to wipe out my entire team. if it wasn’t the fact I was the last man standing with 3 hp left, I would of been furious.
15 The Bratch // Mar 19, 2008 at 2:13 am
I didn’t catch this the first time around, but I’m assuming the title of this post is a reference to the old (PC I believe) game “I Have No Mouth and i Must Scream” ?
This game and Bad Mojo have permanently seared themselves into my conscious.
16 Alekum // Mar 21, 2008 at 1:33 pm
Name him!
I want to set fire to him, snipe him in the shoulder, then finish him off with a backstab (after minigunning him in the legs)…
…actually i try to do that to everyone i can.
17 Theory // Mar 31, 2008 at 6:50 am
I was playing TF2 one day when what pair should pipe up on voice chat but Robert Florence and Ryan Macleod*. Robert Florence and Ryan Macleod!
Later, I felt violated.
* Or at least two people who did an extremely convincing impression of them
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